Jaded Memories
by Miyuki Meiru
Summary: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu
1. Unrequited Love

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This fic contains boy's love scenes.

This fic isn't beta edited, so probably there are errors in grammar.

Hmm… should I say badly written smut. I never tried to write anything besides 'kissing' so I'm still awkward in writing explicit scenes.

**Author's note:** Hello everyone! This is my very first story for Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. The idea was random; it just popped out while I was having my classes earlier. Anyway, please be easy on me, after all I'm just an amateur writer.

Also, if anybody wants to be my beta reader for this story, please feel free to send me a private message.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi

_**Chapter One: Unrequited Love**_

_I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. _

"You want to do it with me, right?" Saga-senpai's voice resonated throughout the silence of the room. Was it really happening in reality?

I flinched as Saga-senpai continued to unbutton my uniform. "No, we can't…" I tried to resist, but senpai's touch was alluring. Every nerve in my body was on fire; my skin came in contact with his. I felt my face flushing from embarrassment; my body was exposed to him. Senpai could see everything! Panic filled my thoughts as I unconsciously hid my face using my hands.

It was a weird encounter but ever since I saw senpai at the library on that day, I fell in love with him. When our hands met, I wasn't able to resist the feeling I harboured for years. My unrequited love overflowed and I confessed to him, I knew it was really weird to fall in love with a guy but I myself couldn't explain it.

I felt senpai's hand remove mine so that he could see my face. His lips ravished my own, I was surprised by the sudden action. Stunned by the moment, I simply closed my eyes and shut my lips tightly. Saga-senpai pulled away as he broke the kiss. My mind was hazy. Did I do something that irritated him? Did I displease him?

"Stop clenching your lips shut," there was a slight pause. "I want to kiss you with my tongue."

"Tongue!" I exclaimed, my face felt hotter than the usual. I wasn't used to this, senpai being so aggressive and bold. Saga-senpai was usually calm and serious. His lips were on mine again, this time I slowly opened my mouth and felt senpai's tongue exploring me. I gave out a soft moan, something that made senpai smirk a little.

Saga-senpai slid his tongue to my throat then into my navel. It felt so good, I was so lost and all I could think of was the happiness I felt at the moment.

"I'm sorry," I was confused. I wonder why senpai was apologizing? "It hurts right?" My eyes fluttered open as I stared at senpai's worried face. I blushed, senpai was worried about me. Just the thought of it made my heart go wild.

"I-I'm fine," I replied as I tried to reassure him, "…b-because it's you."

"Ritsu," It was the first time that senpai called me by name. I was so happy that I felt like I could die any moment. My eyes were heavy and my body was aching. "I love you…"

Did he just?

Did I really hear him right? If only he could love me a little…

_Senpai, I really love you so much…_

* * *

><p>"Onodera-san! Will you please pay attention!" I heard an irritated scream. My eyes snapped open and realized that I was in the classroom and we were having classes. "I wonder why you're very distracted today?" The teacher asked while I stood there, my cheeks burning red with horror and embarrassment. Now, who wouldn't be? After what happened with Saga-senpai last night, it would be more unlikely to be focused. I heard laughter from the class, I guess I never cared. The embarrassment that I felt when senpai touched me naked was even a <em>worse <em>experience than being humiliated in class.

It was lunch time and I decided to stay at the library, I really wanted to be alone for now. The memories of last night was still vivid, it was as if I could still feel senpai's touch. I clenched my fist as I blushed, remembering how our bodies collided and senpai's low whisper of my name.

"Are you okay?"

"S-senpai!" I was caught off-guard. My face flushed as I saw Saga-senpai.

"I think I overdid it last night."

"I-I'm okay!" I clasped my hands, "See you around, senpai." I simply ran without looking back at him.

I sighed as I stared at my classmates running into the open field. Why the hell should we have P.E classes on this day? Of all days in the week, why _today_? My body still ache from_ that_. I heard the coach's whistle, shit it was my turn.

"Onodera, on the field!" He yelled, as I scampered my way nervously. I half-dragged myself trying to ignore the discomfort in my lower anatomy. How the hell would I be able to kick the ball in this damn state?

The practice game continued as I aimlessly wander into the field completely losing my focus. I couldn't help it but to think of Saga-senpai and _last night. _I wasn't in the right condition to play soccer.

"Onodera, watch out!" It was too late. A soccer ball was flying towards me! I was frozen and I wasn't able to move, it struck me like a lightning bolt and everything went black.

* * *

><p>My eyes fluttered slowly, the light was blinding me. I didn't think something was wrong with my vision but all I could see was <em>white<em>. As far as I know, this wasn't my room.

"Ritsu!" Mom almost plunged herself at me. The interaction was unexpected; I felt tears on my shoulder. Why was mom crying? "R-ritsu, I thought we lost you!" She was almost hysterical. I was very confused, what happened?

"Mom, I think you're overreacting," I simply said. I was just knocked out by a flying soccer ball; I didn't think it was enough to make her so worried.

"You were unconscious for three days! And you have the nerve to tell me that I'm overreacting!" Mom was angry. So, I was knocked out by a soccer ball for three freaking days? How weak could I possibly get? I felt the tight cast around my left arm. Did I broke a bone when I fell?

The door swung open, I saw An-chan, dad and a doctor came in. "Ricchan! I'm glad you're awake!" An was crying too. Did An-chan really look this beautiful before? It was just three days then she suddenly turned into a strikingly beautiful lady! I swore, it must be my eyes. She wasted no more time and embraced me, "I'm really glad you're alright."

Dad simply placed his hands over my shoulders, the gesture was full of emotion although he wasn't able to show as much as An-chan and mom. "That boss of yours almost barged in, demanding to see you, but of course we couldn't allow that."

Boss? Who the hell was that?

"Ritsu, I'm worried for your safety…" Dad said, "I want you to go back and live with us again, since you and An-chan are not yet formally married. I guess I realized how much my family means to me and I really regret spending little time with you." Why was it like I had been out of my life for years? I was still living with my parents, right? "Also, I'm begging you to transfer back at our publishing company. Honestly Ritsu, do you really even enjoy editing shoujo manga? I know you love literature down to the core."

Eh, I was a shoujo manga editor? What the hell was happening? I was supposed to be a literature editor!

This wasn't my life! Why was it so against my plans? I guess this was all a nightmare.

"Ritsu, dear, say something," mom kept her eyes on me.

"Umm, okay," I simply blurted out without thinking.

"You're unexpectedly agreeable," dad smiled, "I thought you won't give up without an argument."

My eyes widened, since when did I become a disobedient son? I always made sure that I got good grades and didn't eat anything instant and fast food.

I felt my eyes heavy again. "Umm, w-what happened exactly?"I asked, trying to muster up my courage.

I saw shock from their faces. This time the doctor stepped in, "It's okay, it's normal that victims forgot about the accident, it's just post trauma for him. Since Onodera-san already woke up and now showing signs of recovery, there's nothing to worry about." How the hell could I forget such things! It wasn't everyday that you would get hit by a soccer ball right in the face.

I was silent, I saw relief washed over their faces. "If you may excuse us, Onodera-san, I would like you to take a rest for tonight and tomorrow we'll run a few check ups and tests on you."

"A-alright," I said with a nod.

"See you tomorrow then, Ricchan. I'll come over again…" An-chan said as she gave one final hug.

"Take it easy, Ritsu…" Mom said before she kissed me. They all gave a final glance at me before they completely leave the room.

I was still confused about a lot of things. My body felt tired and battered. I closed my eyes and went back to dreamland.

I woke up for the second time. I was feeling a slight back ache and neck pain. Feeling uncomfortable of my position, I turned around facing to my right.

"Onodera, you're awake," This voice… it was familiar. Saga-senpai was here!

"Y-yes," I blushed. Saga-senpai came! I took a good look at senpai's features and realized that he was much gorgeous today. Now, I was having so many doubts if it was really only three days that I slept in.

The man pulled me into a hug, "You scared me, I thought you were going to leave me _again_."

Eh, I would never leave Saga-senpai!

"I w-would never-" Senpai placed his index over my lips.

"Listen to me; I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day. I didn't know that you weren't feeling well and I just scolded you like that." I felt his hand stroking my hair, "I shouldn't have done that. You were pressured with the deadlines and all but I still edged you instead of helping you sort it out. When I heard what happened to you, I was _terrified_…I simply rushed and demanded to see you. I was so broken when your father didn't allow me stay with you."

Another blush was visible on my face, "I-I'm sorry to make you w-worry." I couldn't look at him face to face; I was feeling so happy right now. Saga-senpai pulled me into a deep kiss. I didn't know why I was able to respond to him eagerly, I was able to kiss him properly. The kiss felt much better than the last time, I guess this time it's more passionate… and somehow I felt like I was _used _to this.

"Looks like you're compliant tonight," Senpai said with a smirk, "If only you're not injured, I would gladly make a mess out of you."

"W-what?" I was getting dizzy. I never knew Saga-senpai could talk dirty.

"Ritsu..." There was a slight pause, "I love you."

I was bedazzled and frozen. I wasn't dreaming, right? Saga-senpai just said that he loved me!

"Ritsu?" There was a slight confusion in his face.

"I-I love you too, Saga-senpai!" I blurted out.

I saw his eyes widened; before I knew it I was pinned into the bed and was pulled into another passionate kiss. He was practically crushing me and it hurt! "S-senpai… get off me!" I half-yelled as I pushed him away from me.

"I'm sorry."

"N-no, i-it's okay!" I hid my face. "In fact, I'm so happy right now like I could die anytime. S-senpai, you just told me that you love me." I tried to smile and face him properly without shying away.

"Ritsu, are you really okay?" Saga-senpai asked, "It's my entire fault."

"No! It's my fault for being unfocused!" I mumbled, "I wasn't really paying attention to the practice game! It was my own fault that I was hit by that soccer ball!" I explained to senpai, but he only stared back at me.

"I'm calling a doctor. You aren't alright."

"But, I am alright," I was frustrated, "why don't you believe me?" I felt like crying.

"Ritsu, how old are you?"

"Umm, isn't it obvious? I'm fifteen." Saga-senpai turned pale, "A-anou… S-saga-senpai?"

"You were hit by a car… not a soccer ball. You were in critical condition and we were all worried that you won't make it."

"Ehh! How could that possibly be?"

"I guess you hit you head pretty badly. And you're twenty five not fifteen."

"That's impossible! Unless I did time travelling!"

"That's it, Ritsu… I'm going to call a doctor." Saga-senpai said before he picked up the receiver.

It was unbelievable! Like what happened on those science fiction novels that I read, it was difficult to believe that I was ten years ahead of what I remember. I certainly had so many questions to ask Saga-senpai.

**To be continued…**

I just felt like playing with Ritsu in this fic. I wonder how 'younger Ritsu' would deal the situation of being with 'Takano chasing after him'. I hope you guys would leave me reviews and suggest ideas for this fic.


	2. Like a Dream

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This piece of fiction contains boy's love.

SMUT… I don't know if I'm improving on writing it, or as usual I suck! I still cringe when I imagine what I'm writing. I don't know why it's alright for me to read SMUT that other people wrote, but when it's my turn to write I don't feel very comfortable.

Fic isn't beta edited, so there are probably grammatical errors.

**Author's note:** I'm sorry for the late update! I tried to update earlier but since I wanted to refresh my memory of the 'younger Ritsu' I reread the manga. I was so hooked up that I already forgot that I was in the middle of writing the chapter.

I'm having doubts whether I managed to get Takano's character in this chapter. I hope you guys would tell me if my writing made the characters go OOC.

Thank you so much for all the support! So far, I'm welcomed by your kind words and appreciation of my fanfic. I'm so grateful and happy for that. I'm really more motivated to write and update when I receive good reviews, it means so much for me.

I have a few inquiries at the bottom part of the chapter, I suggest for you to skip it if you don't want to read a bit of spoilers.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

**_Chapter Two: Like a Dream_**

_It was like a dream. Saga-senpai told me that he loved me. _

I felt hot stares directed right at me. I couldn't look at them; their eyes were full of disbelief.

"What happened to my Ritsu?" I heard mom's panicked cry, I just hoped there would be no shrill outbreaks.

The doctor fixed his glasses, "Please calm down. It's post-traumatic amnesia, and it's really common to patients who are involved in car accidents and those who had heavy blows in their heads. In fact, Onodera-san might be considered lucky that he still regained some of his memory. Most patients wake up from coma not remembering anything, including their name and personal lives."

"Calm down? How can we calm down when our son just lost a huge chunk of his memory? Ritsu lost ten years worth of memory!" This time dad was the one who replied. An-chan was silent, she stayed in one corner as she watched the entire scene. I'd known An-chan for years and knew how her personality worked, despite her silence I knew she was also in a panic.

My head started to ache from all the arguing that I could hear. Mom and dad still couldn't accept what happened to me. I, myself, couldn't believe where I was now. A day before, well it was as far as I remember, I was fifteen and was doing _that_ with Saga-senpai. A soccer ball hit me in the face and when I regained consciousness, I was already ten years in the future.

As soon as the doctor realized that I was having memory troubles, series of tests had been conducted to me all day long. In my entire life, I'd never been subjected to a lot of tests and diagnoses. They checked everything; it was an all-around physical exam and mental exam. I was in the right state of mind, except for my lacking memory.

"Why did this happen to my Ritsu?" Mom started to cry. I could only watch those tears fall off from her face.

"I suppose there was an important event in Onodera-san's life when he was fifteen," the doctor stated. "People tend to stick on memories that they treasure so much. If my hunch was correct, your memory was supposed to be wiped out entirely but a certain memory from your fifteen year old self retained and the 'wiping out' of memories stopped at that point of time." I blushed madly.

Was that really a scientific based statement?

It couldn't be that the 'treasured memory' was doing _that_ with Saga-senpai?

Blushes crept further into my cheeks, I could feel the hotness of my face. "Ricchan?" This time it was An-chan who spoke, finally breaking off the silence. "Are you sick?" She asked with her eyes full of concern.

"N-no" I continued to stare at the white bed sheets.

"Onodera-san, if you could please tell us which memory is the last one you could remember. It would gladly help in my diagnosis."

No way in hell was I going to tell them about Saga-senpai!

"W-well, I-I was in t-the s-soccer field and I was hit by t-the ball while playing," I stuttered a bit.

"You already told us that. Any more relevant events?"

I felt like the doctor was squeezing me out. I couldn't help but to think that it was mental torture rather than simply diagnosis.

"I w-was in the library before that…" my blush never left my face, "I read one of my favourite books. I really idolize that author. U-usami Akihiko is really a great writer!" I said, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"That was probably memorable," the doctor simply said before he wrote something on a piece of paper.

"Ritsu's really a literature lover," I heard dad said with a forceful smile. I didn't know why it seemed like my parents were disappointed of me.

"What will happen to Ritsu now?" Mom asked, I also wondered what will happen to me. I was like a child trapped in the older version of me. In contrary to that, I couldn't remember what happened to Saga-senpai and I in those ten long years.

"He's still functional; as long as he can pick up the things he used to do he'll be fine. His memory should be back after, maybe a few months. For now, Onodera-san should prioritize in healing his physical wounds. Also, he shouldn't be agitated, stressed and pressured, it disrupts regaining memories. You understand, Onodera-san?"

"Y-yes," I said as I smiled, "I'll try to remember that a lot."

The doctor had a point. I wasn't disabled; I could still go to work and do normal things. It was as if I lost an arm or a leg and I couldn't be normal anymore.

For the rest of the day, mom and An-chan stayed with me. Dad had a meeting and even though he really didn't want to leave, I told him that I understood his situation completely. I really did understand the importance of my father's job, the passion and effort he spent to our family's publishing company was extreme and somehow it made me proud to have a father like him.

"Ricchan, we're coming back tomorrow." An-chan said. "I'll definitely come again."An-chan plastered her determined expression, something that I rarely see in her.

"You two are getting along really fine," mom said behind us.

"M-mom!" I complained, truly An-chan was my fiancé but I already told An-chan that I liked somebody else. Someday, I knew I needed enough guts to break off this set up engagement.

* * *

><p>The rest of my belongings from the day of the accident were brought in my room. I scanned the bag that contained my personal stuffs. I saw papers, <em>lots<em> of them. Sketches were doodled; blank panels were practically everywhere, a lot of red marks and an inserted note with an all capital and bold letters of 'DO YOUR WORK SERIOUSLY!' I wondered why there was something like that in my things. Was I really slacking off? Was I doing a bad job? I didn't really know how to edit manga. I practically couldn't _understand_ what those red marks and silly drawn arrows were for. I couldn't get back to work in my state like this, my stomach churned a bit when I realized that I needed to relearn everything. Why was it that I felt being mistreated and _bullied_ at work?

My gaze fell upon the cell phone on my bedside table. It was cleaned off but there were still some traces of dried blood at the corners of it. I flipped the phone open and saw a lot of miscalls and messages from people who were probably from work. I read the messages; some were asking of my whereabouts and some where threatening to double my work load if I didn't appear at the office in the next five minutes or so. I was definitely being bullied at work! I checked the time I received those messages, it was practically on the time of the accident.

_Takano Masamune_

Who was that?

The name was familiar. Was it because he had the same first name as Saga-senpai?

My finger slipped and before I noticed it, the phone started ringing! I was calling this person's phone! I panicked; surely it would be rude to hang up. I didn't know what to tell this person when I couldn't even remember him. Maybe I should apologize for not being able to attend work. I should probably do that.

The ringing continued and I was relieved that nobody was picking up the phone. I was pleading for the call to switch into voice mail.

"Hello," came an irritated response from the other line. The voice sounded angry and _terrifying_. This voice… I couldn't possibly be mistaken. My heart beat went faster, and blushes crept into my cheeks.

"H-hello," I muttered shyly.

I got no response.

Was that really Saga-senpai?

Oh shit, what a great time to have a dead phone. The battery was drained!

Saga-senpai and Takano Masamune was the same person? I wonder what happened.

I frowned a bit. Ten years was a great loss, I didn't even know that Saga-senpai already changed his last name. I shouldn't even call him Saga-senpai anymore. My heart almost sank with frustration; I didn't even know anything about him.

I spent the rest of the evening rereading books that according to An-chan, I really adored. Usami-sensei already wrote a lot of books and I was surprised when An-chan told me that I edited the book that won the Naomori award.

With the success that I experienced in literary work, I wonder what made me transfer to Marukawa and on top of that, the shoujo manga department. I wanted to find out more about myself and what really happened to me in those ten years.

Truth to be told, I was surprised when An-chan told me that I went abroad to continue my studies. I couldn't imagine leaving Saga-senpai behind. Was that the reason why he was terrified that he almost lost me _again_?

I was surprised when the door was swung in a shoving manner. I saw Saga-senpai standing at the doorway, I simply stared at him. He closed the door gently as he approached me.

"You called," he simply stated.

"Y-yes," I realized that he was staring at the mixture of manuscripts and novels scattered in my bed. "I'm really s-sorry for disturbing you at w-work." I bowed, as I blushed.

In a split nanosecond, Saga-senpai was already sitting beside me. "Don't apologize," he said as he began caressing my hair. "I called you back several times but you didn't answer."

"The battery of my phone's drained," I simply said as I continued to blush and hide my face from him.

"I was worried; I thought something happened to you again."

I could sense his emotions overflowing. "S-senpai…" I weakly muttered.

"What is it, Ritsu?"

"S-should I still call you Saga-senpai?" I asked. For a second, I saw his eyes widened.

"You can call me whatever you want," he simply said before pulling me into a kiss. As usual senpai did it amazingly, just like yesterday I was drawn by his antics. "So you found out already," he said after he broke off from the kiss.

"W-well yes…" I stuttered a bit, "….you're Takano Masamune _now_."

"My parents got divorced and my mother remarried."

"I'm s-sorry, I didn't know."

"It's alright," senpai simply said. I was surprised that his parents were divorced. I did remember back then, he was always alone and when I came over at his place, none of his parents were at home. "So, what did the doctor tell you?" He asked as he changed the subject, I must've been too transparent.

"He said that it's post-traumatic amnesia." I replied, senpai's gaze was focused on me. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes; they were just too dazzling for me. "I should be fine after a few weeks and as for my memory recovery it would probably take months."

"Does it bother you?" This time senpai pulled me closer to him, his action made my heart go crazy and my face as red as a tomato. I was practically leaning against senpai, I could feel his breath tickling my ears.

"A little bit," I confessed. "I didn't even know what h-happened in those ten years especially when I found out that I'm working at Marukawa's s-shoujo manga department."

Saga-senpai's brows furrowed a bit, "What's wrong with working at the shoujo manga department?"

I was getting nervous, "Umm… I didn't really think that it was possible for me to stop being a literary editor. And I do think that I'm not suitable to be a manga editor." All I wanted to do was to turn a book into a masterpiece.

"Why would you think that?" Saga-senpai asked.

"I-it's because of this," I showed him the 'DO YOUR WORK SERIOUSLY' note inserted somewhere in between the manuscripts, "And when I checked the manuscript, I c-couldn't understand a-anything about it." I shyly confessed.

"Maybe the note was just some mistake," I heard a slight trembling from senpai's voice. It must've been my imagination. "And you're doing a good job as an editor, maybe next time I could bring you comic-related projects that you edited."

"R-really," I smiled a bit before senpai pulled me in another kiss. I felt the hotness of senpai's lips on my own.

"You're just so cute."

"E-eh…" I was melting. "I-I'm not cute!" I protested.

"Yes, you are. If only you could take a look at yourself," senpai said with a smirk curved in his lips. I didn't know that Saga-senpai could tease.

I frowned a bit, "but it's useless if I couldn't remember how to edit manga."

Saga-senpai held me tighter making it more warm and comfortable. "I could teach you again," he whispered. In my head, some melodramatic piano instrumental played. I froze, simply stunned by the moment. Unable to say words, I simply nodded. "I love you, Ritsu."

I had longed for those words. If only I could hear them over and over again, I wouldn't even mind.

"Ritsu?"

"I l-love you too, senpai." I was blushing madly. "I still believe that all of this is a dream."

"Is that so?" Even though, I couldn't see it, I could feel that senpai was smirking.

"Y-yes," I replied nervously.

I felt Saga-senpai's palm circling my thigh, "but I'm here right next to you. And you can feel me so this isn't a dream."

"I don't know anything about you…" I shyly said as I leaned closer to him seeking for more warmth, my tension was released when he touched me.

"Then let's get to know each other…" he paused for a brief second, "…honestly, I don't know much about you too."

I felt a slight push and before I knew it Saga-senpai was on top of me. I could only look at his eyes filled with such passion. I shivered when senpai lifted a part of my shirt. I could feel his breath and the cold air tickling my skin. His warm fingertips brushed against my skin sending shivers from the sudden contact.

Suddenly, something moist made me quiver. Senpai was licking my chest, then my navel. He was touching me, I could only blush as I melt in his soft and warm caresses. I moaned softly, feeling my whole body tensed.

"Relax, Ritsu…" Saga-senpai whispered gently.

As if on cue, I hid my face with my trembling hands. Unable to face him, I wondered why my body seemed too familiar with senpai's touches.

"Back with your old habits, I guess…" senpai said before removing my hands from my face then pulling me into another kiss. "At least now you're used to kiss with your mouth slightly opened."

My face grew redder and hotter. Being held by senpai like this made my heart flutter and filled.

"I want you."

"T-that's-"

"Listen, I want _all_ of you…" This time, I made an effort to look at senpai's face. His gaze was on me, only me… I'd never felt so wanted and desired in my whole life. Saga-senpai unbuckled his belt; I could hear the soft rustle of clothes being taken away. He did the same thing for me; Saga-senpai removed the remaining piece of clothing in my body and started circling my thighs. Soft moans escaped my lips, as I sprawled under senpai. Every part of my body screamed for his touch. I felt a slight ache as senpai thrust against me. "Loosen up, Ritsu. You're tight."I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart.

"That's better," senpai smiled a bit.

It felt like something was burning inside of me. It was as if my insides were twisting, I felt this feeling before too.

"Did I hurt you?"

"N-no…" I shyly replied.

"I shouldn't have forced you on _this_…" he paused, "you're still recovering from the accident."

"I-It's o-okay," I tried to reassure him. "You didn't force anything b-besides it's not as if I didn't w-want this." I tried to hide my face from embarrassment. Saga-senpai's hands wrapped my waist. His face was only inches apart from my own. "I-isn't it odd for you to lie on a hospital bed… when you're not even sick?"

I heard a muffled laugh, I blushed again. "Sometimes I wonder where you get all of those," senpai said as he tried his best to stifle his laughter.

My eyes felt heavy as I snuggled closer to Saga-senpai. I leaned against his bare chest, his warmth against my cheeks. I could hear his heart throbbing fast, although it never showed in his face, I didn't know that senpai could be nervous. "Goodnight senpai…I love you…" I whispered.

I felt his strong hands holding me tightly as he caressed my locks. "I love you too, Ritsu…"

The next morning, I woke up and saw Saga-senpai getting ready to leave. Last night, was unbelievable. My face flushed as I recalled what happened.

"Ah… you're awake," senpai said as he put on his coat. "You should sleep more. It's still early."

"I-I'm okay," I tried to hide my blush.

"As much as I want to stay with you longer, I'm needed at the office," there was a mixture of guilt and worry in his tone.

"I-it's alright…" I paused, "…if it's work, I guess it can't be helped."

"I'll be back tonight," senpai said before pulling me into a kiss. "I'll bring some of your previous projects and teach you some basics in editing."

"I'll look forward to it," I smiled.

"Yeah, you should," senpai smirked which made me flush more. "See you later." He said before making his way into the door. "I forgot something," he returned to my bedside.

"Eh, m-maybe you m-mixed up s-some documents in my manuscripts…"

"I'm talking about my goodbye kiss," he said as I flushed again.

"W-what?"

"You can't give me one?" Senpai asked with a slight pout.

"O-okay…" I leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

"This makes us look like a married couple," he said with a smirk.

"S-senpai!" I protested, trying to fight off from the teasing.

"Just kidding," he said before he pulled me in an embrace. "Have your phone charged, I'll call you later." Saga-senpai said before he finally made his exit.

**To be continued… **

I wonder how I did in this chapter. I tried to get into 'younger Ritsu' mode, I hope my version of 'younger Ritsu' isn't OOC.

It's time to discuss my plans for this fic with you guys. I'm tempted to write it off with the pairing of TakanoxRitsuxOC, since I'm a real fan of love triangles. And I ultimately agree that cute little Ritsu being pursued by two different guys would be fun!

Also, I'm planning to have a tension between Yokozawa and 'younger Ritsu'. I hope you look forward to that. Although in the manga, Yokozawa seemed like to accept Ritsu already… I guess for once I'll disregard that in this fic.

How do you think? I would really love to hear from you guys, so I hope you'll leave me reviews.


	3. The Calm before the Storm

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This piece of fiction contains boy's love.

May contain explicit/graphic scenes and some spoilers from the Sekaiichi Hatsukoi series.

Characters may act OOC.

Fic isn't beta edited, so there are probably grammatical errors.

**Author's note:** I've been really busy with my final exams and a lot of things that I needed to work on, sorry for the late update. Also, I suffered from writer's block for this fic and I had a difficult time hauling ideas for a better flow of the story.

Thank you for all the people who supported me in this fic. I enjoyed reading your reviews though for some I wasn't able to reply due to my busy schedule.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure if Ritsu and Takano are in character in this chapter.

Also, I'm open to any suggestions and requests for this fic. I'm the type who tends to slack off, more like Chiaki. Readers from my other fandoms sent me messages concerning my hibernation in updating, bad for me I wasn't able to notice that I haven't updated for a year already.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

_**Chapter Three: The Calm before the Storm**_

"Photo-typesetting comes in sheets like these so you have to put paper cement on the back, cut them out and paste them."

"Like this?" I grabbed a cutter as I carefully followed the lines. My left arm was still uncomfortable with the cast but thankfully my right arm was alright.

"Yeah, you're doing well. If there are words above the picture, use a tracing paper before you paste it." Saga-senpai- no, Takano-san said. I guess I should start getting used to calling him 'Takano' since he changed his last name and it would be odd for me to still call him Saga. A week already passed since I got involved in an accident and ever since then senpai had been occasionally visiting me during his free times. Not that I didn't appreciate his effort but I wasn't accustomed with him being this close, enough for me to drown in my feelings that I harboured for years.

"Hey, are you listening?" Takano-san stopped in the middle of his explanation.

"Y-yes." I flushed as I looked away. His gaze still remained on mine; I could feel those heavy eyes prying me.

"Maybe we should stop for today, you're already tired." He said before keeping away the sample storyboards. "And you shouldn't force yourself too much."

"I-I'm okay!" I quickly said, trying to reassure him.

"You say so," he said with a low chuckle, barely audible yet it made my heart beat faster.

"U-umm, so how's work?" I asked, desperate enough to make myself more comfortable with his presence.

"The cycle's still at the beginning so I guess it's fine."

"Cycle?"

"We usually create a book within twenty days."

"Awesome, you guys could do that?"

There was a slight change of expression in his face. "Difficult but very rewarding," he said before he pinned me down and crashed his lips into mine.

"S-senpai!" I protested as I pulled away.

"Visiting hours is almost over," he said as he pressed his index finger on my lips. "The nurses will scold me again for spending the night here." He smiled playfully before pulling me into another kiss before lifting up my shirt. Running his smooth finger tips into my bare chest made me flinch. Trail of kisses followed, my entire body was filled with him. "Ritsu." The low whisper of my name made my heart go crazy.

"S-saga-senpai…" I moaned, flushing with a mixture of embarrassment and ecstasy. A calloused thumb gently circled my nipples, making me hard all over.

"You're eager," I swore I heard him snorted "And you're making me turned on."

"I-I'm-" I was supposed to deny it. "M-more…" I unconsciously said as I felt senpai sucking on my nipples. My hips arched as I felt senpai's erection beneath his pants. He moved over, removing my pants as he circled my thighs. His touch was amazing, earning another moan from me. He slid his palm over my belly down to my erected cock, touching the shaft gently making me whimper from the sensation.

I wanted to feel him more, as I literally sprawled under him. Every touch was drowning me in ecstasy. With one last kiss, senpai pulled away from me. I didn't want him to stop- Did I just think that?

"We'll have more once you get better," he said with a smile. Flushing with embarrassment I simply nodded as he ruffled my hair.

"You should get some rest tonight," he put on his trench coat. "I'll check on you again tomorrow morning."

"Yes," I agreed with a shy nod.

After senpai left, I tried to get some sleep but there was no luck. Instead, I decided to check out the copy of 'Love Star' that senpai left, according to him it was my very first comic- related project.

The satisfaction that I got from reading my edited literature works was the same when I browsed 'Love Star'. At first, it was dreadful to find out that I worked on shoujo manga instead of literature but now things had been starting to sink in. I arrived to the point of accepting my current job right now, and I've come to like it.

Visits from Takano-san became less frequent, I knew that he was busy with work but I couldn't help it but to feel a little bit lonely with his absence. He called me several times though, asking how I was feeling. I never told him that I missed him so much; I never wanted him to worry about me. Although I wanted to see him that badly, I couldn't do anything about it. To distract me from my thoughts I tried to read the corrections he left for me to study. I'd do my best to be a good editor once I got back to work.

"Ricchan!" An-chan's voice echoed as she entered my room in an undignified manner, shoving the door excitedly as she made her way through me. "Sorry about that," she apologized regaining her ladylike composure.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked, peering over her. Before I knew it, I was trapped into an awkward embrace.

"You're getting discharged today!" She said with a delightful laugh. "I'm so glad Ricchan!"

"I'm happy too," all I was able to think was getting back to senpai and knowing more about my work.

"And your mom's really excited; she already booked reservations for tonight's dinner party."

"W-what? There's really no need for that." I knew that mom could be a little pushy on things like these but seriously I'd rather have a good night sleep than attend a party. "And I just got out from the hospital."

"Come on Ricchan, this is a perfect opportunity to know everyone again. You lost ten years worth of memory and everybody's been really worried. It's actually the company's party, it's just that your mom wanted to include your recovery in the celebration."

"F-fine," I replied in defeat. Whenever An-chan and mom planned things like these, I could only agree to them.

"Some of your stuffs had been taken back to the house. Ricchan, I don't want to say this but your apartment's really a big mess."

"Eh, but I don't-"

"You should always remember to clean up."

* * *

><p>An-chan and I went home right after I got discharged and had a cleared health record. My memory of the house was from ten years ago, there were quite some changes like an extension in the eastern part and a few changes in the furniture and appliances. Some of the servants were also replaced; as I reached home I was greeted by new faces. So our old gardener was replaced too?<p>

"Ritsu," mom called as she greeted us with a smile. "Welcome home," she said before giving me a hug.

"I'm home," I smiled as I returned the embrace. It might be awkward for me but mom was just very happy and I was thankful for that. She was certainly more cheerful than the times she visited me at the hospital, mom could be also be a worry wart.

"Oh, I'm glad that you and An-chan are getting closer." Mom laughed, "An-chan I'm sure you'll take good care of Ritsu here."

"Yes, of course." An-chan replied instantly, making me wonder what I'd gotten myself into.

"Mom! It's not like that!"

"Ritsu dear, An-chan's your fiancée so why don't you two spend some time with each other. I've got some things to attend to and don't forget about tonight's dinner."

I wasn't able to settle things with An-chan last time and I didn't have any idea when I could end this engagement between the two of us. An-chan's nice, sweet and really smart. She was also kind and caring and probably the best girl that a guy could ever have but I didn't really think that we could be together. I just didn't see her in that way; she was more of like a younger sister than a girlfriend.

An-chan gave me a tour since there were some parts of the house that changed like the one which used to be a guest room was renovated into one of my father's stock room for his books. It was weird being led by her; in the first place this was my house.

"And you see the living room hasn't changed at all."

"Yes, same old pictures, and I thought mom would get rid of that couch in a few years though," I heard An-chan's laugh which was a slight relief.

"We used to play in here with the others. We were really naughty and we even tried to jump from that couch."

"I remember that! I ended up having a bruise and got scolded by mom." That certain memory was such a pain.

"How's it going, Ricchan?"

"Still nothing new," I replied truthfully.

"Don't worry, you'll remember everything soon." She looked up to me with a smile.

"I'm sorry for causing you trouble."

"You're no trouble at all," her voice trailed off adding up my guilt.

"No, I am r-really sorry for everything. About the engagement, I know it must be hard to keep up with it since w-we're not really going out so-"

"Ricchan, I love you." An-chan whispered, making me drown more into the guilt that I was feeling. "I've loved you for a long time. I'm also sorry for saying but when you lost a lot of memories; I thought this is my chance to show you how much I care for you. I'm hoping you would consider me."

"An-chan, I just can't do that."

"Do you love somebody else?" An-chan asked gently. I couldn't see her face really well but I know that she must be hurting.

"W-well y-yeah," I replied with a flush. Just thinking about senpai could make me lost in thoughts.

"See you this evening Ricchan," she said before walking away.

"An-chan," I called but she didn't look back.

"D-don't worry about it a-anymore," I heard her voice, there was a slight trembling which was unusual. "I'm going to help in the preparations," An-chan said before leaving.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered to myself.

I made my way to my old room. There were slight changes too, like the addition of another shelf and the doubled amount of books I've kept. Most were from Usami Akihiko and Sumi Ryouchi my previous authors. I also found old manuscripts, the original ones with all the minimal corrections. Even the manuscript itself was great; I guess I really loved literature.

I spent the entire afternoon in my room rereading some of the books that I found in my stash. There were a lot of interesting things like old photo albums from my study abroad and a lot of written journals. I checked the photos even the ones from High School, it was a mystery to me why there wasn't a single one with Saga-senpai-Takano-san.

I smiled as I remembered him; surely it wouldn't hurt a bit to give him a call and I'd love it if he could come to the party. I dialled his number with a slight nervousness. There was no answer, I tried calling him once more and still he didn't pick up. I realized that he was busy with work as I hanged up before it switched to voice mail.

* * *

><p>I sighed as I entered the party hall. As expected from mom, it was a grandiose celebration with all my 'ex-co-workers' from Onodera publishing. It was rushed and half-assed as she said but from the looks of Teito Hotel's party hall, there wasn't a single hint of it being half-assed.<p>

All eyes were on me, I could feel their stares, those long, odd and peering looks that made me intimidated. I could hear whispers, words that I couldn't decipher. The nervousness and embarrassment that I felt, including the butterflies in my stomach and that awkward conversation with An-chan made this event a drastic situation.

"Oh Ritsu-dear, there you are!" Mom called before dragging me. "You need to greet our guests." I couldn't disagree with her and I didn't want to make scene which could make this evening more awkward as it was.

"It's been a long time since I last saw you," I swallowed the lump in my throat. An-chan's mother was still beautiful, as expected from the woman where An-chan got her looks.

"It's nice to meet you again, Kohinata-san" I replied, trying to ease the tension that I was feeling. An-chan's mom was a sweet woman, nice and well-refined. Still, it added up my guilt to talk to An-chan's mother when I just hurt her daughter.

"Oh, you don't really learn." She laughed before giving me a welcoming embrace, "It's auntie for you and when you and An get married it'll be 'mom'." I felt shivers ran down my spine.

"Umm, I'm sorry auntie but I-"

"I'm really relieved to see that you're in good condition. An's really worried and you've got us worried too, I'm just so happy that you're here for my daughter."

"I'm sorry to make you worry," I bowed making An-chan's mom giggle.

"He's still the polite one," An-chan's mother said to my mom. Both women looked at me like I was some sort of an odd little kid.

"That's my Ritsu," mom smiled before drinking her wine. "Ritsu, you should escort An-chan, surely you wouldn't want to make her lonely."

"Yes, mom." I replied unwillingly. The last thing I wanted to do was to face An-chan, I got really worked up in our conversation earlier. It wasn't my intention to hurt her, but rejecting her and her feelings was the only thing that I could do. I wasn't in love with her and I couldn't be with her, it would hurt both of us if we pushed through this engagement thing.

My gaze scanned the entire party hall to look for An-chan, as much as I wanted to avoid her, she certainly didn't deserve to be avoided. After a few unlucky attempts, I spotted her standing near the buffet table picking out a few finger foods and wine.

"An-chan," I approached her, trying to be casual. "I'm really-"

"You don't need to apologize," she said. "I'm the one at fault here. I've been trying to force my feelings on you."

"No, it's not…"

"It's true," she said, sipping her wine. Her smooth fingers tapped the wine glass gently which only showed that she was in a more awkward position than I was. "Let's just forget about that, shall we?" She forced a smile. "All I want right now is for Ricchan to get better."

"Thank you," I smiled warmly.

"No problem…"

I stayed mostly with An-chan, knowing that she was probably the person I'd be most comfortable with. Some people talked to me but I couldn't remember them and it made me even more upset. After being hauled into conversations that I couldn't follow, I just wanted to get some rest.

"I'm going out for a bit," I said to An-chan who was standing next to me.

"Sure, we can go outside if you want."

"You can stay here. I just want to be alone for a while."

The only reply I got was a silent nod. I smiled at An-chan before I made my way out, slipping into the crowd hoping nobody would notice me. I planned to stay at the lounge to rest a little bit before going back to the party. I heard voices, I saw people whom I have seen a while ago at the party hall. They were all editors from the literature department, I was certain of it. I hesitated to continue my plan of resting in the lounge, it might distract them from their conversation.

"Onodera's being the center of attention again," I heard a man's voice. Were they talking about me?

"He only got the famous authors; after all he's the boss' son." This time it was a woman's voice.

"Yeah, he transferred to Marukawa and yet he wasn't able to release a best-seller, which only proves that he's using connections with his parents."

Those words hit me like a hot knife, slowly piercing my soul. It took a nanosecond before I finally gain my senses, loathing at the fact of my existence and doubts of my own self-worth. A surge of nausea overwhelmed me, it felt painful but nothing compared with the pain that I felt in my heart.

I stumbled my way back to the party hall, but with my mind warped up and fuzzy, it felt like I was going to fall down at any instant. My legs were weak and the cast in my left arm didn't help either, I ended up leaning against the wall of an empty corridor. My sight was starting to get blurry, without realizing it, tears were already flowing.

I stood there frozen on solid ground, legs wobbling and trembling. The lively chatters in the nearby party hall fell into a deafening silence. It was as if I was locked away from the world, unable to hear anything but those painful words that left me on the ground.

I was brought back to reality when I felt the slight tingling sensation in my pocket. I picked up my vibrating phone and answered the incoming call.

"H-hello," there was a slight trembling from my voice; it sounded more of like a squeak.

"Ritsu," and it felt like time stopped for me. Saga-senpai's voice made me heart race, the anxiety that I felt was lessened.

"S-senpai," I was desperately blocking any sob that may escape. I didn't want to trouble him anymore, he was very busy and stressed with work.

"Where are you?" He asked, in an unusually demanding way. "I visited you at the hospital and the staff told me you weren't there anymore."

"I g-got discharged t-this m-morning," I fought my chances of stuttering yet my efforts were futile. "I'm in T-teito h-hotel, the c-company's h-having a p-party…" A few sobs came; all I could do was to pray that senpai wouldn't notice.

"Are you crying?" He asked the thing that I was desperately hiding from him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not c-crying." It was a lie but I was hoping for a tiny chance that he'd buy it. "I'm alright."

"Wait for me," there was a slight pause. "I'm coming there this instant."

As I thought, he'd really see right through me as if I was too transparent.

* * *

><p>It only took half an hour before senpai arrived. I waited for him at the hotel lobby; my heart sank when I saw him walking towards me. His hair was slightly dishevelled and there were bags under his eyes; and it made me felt even guiltier of causing him to worry.<p>

"Ritsu," his low resonating voice made my heart beat faster. "Tell me what's wrong," it sounded more like a command. I could only stare at his face, unable to utter a single word. After a few moments of silence, he held my hand and led me into an empty corridor before pulling me into a tight embrace. He was holding me as if I was something really precious to him. His warmth crept into my body and his scent draw me nearer to him.

Tears flowed again, and I was able release the anxiety from earlier. "I-I was…" A few sobs escaped from my lips. "T-they w-were talking bad a-about me…"

"What did they say about you?"

"I-I was u-using my parent's c-connections to be on t-top... I'd never d-do something l-like that b-but they're accusing me of n-nepotism." I sobbed even more as I clutched Saga-senpai's shirt more tightly.

"Everything will be alright," he said as he stroked my hair. I felt relaxed with the sensation and somehow I was able to calm down. "You're going to be alright. I'm here with you."

I leaned against him, seeking for support. My eyes felt tired from crying and my body ached from all the stress that I'd been for the last few hours. "T-thank y-you…" I managed to say.

"No problem," he said, before pulling me into a heated kiss.

"S-senpai…" I moaned silently.

"Besides, it was the same reason why you transferred to Marukawa."

"Eh…" I was taken aback by surprise. All the while, I thought I transferred to Marukawa to be with him.

"You wanted to prove that all of them were wrong," he said looking directly into my eyes. "You've been working so hard and I've seen it."

"Really?" I asked with curiosity.

"Yes, does that make you feel better?" He asked, making me flush with embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for making you come over here over nothing."

"It's not 'nothing', you were hurt and I'm worried about you." He stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"S-sorry for ruining your s-shirt," I said before pulling away from him.

"Then you should make up for that," he said before dragging me into one of the hotel rooms.

"W-wait!" I protested. "You… since when did you get this room?"

"Just a moment ago, while I'm on the way. I made reservations," was his only reply before pinning me into the bed.

I couldn't even recall when Saga-senpai removed my clothes. I was naked and sprawled out under him as he trailed butterfly kisses in my chest. Feeling the soft touch of his lips, my body felt the need for more. His chest pressed against mine as we kissed, his thumb caressing my cheeks softly made me quiver.

"S-saga-senpai," I moaned. I could still feel his tongue slowly exploring every inch of my body.

"Ritsu," I heard the low murmur of my name. My heart was throbbing fast as senpai sucked one nipple.

"I p-promised to call you T-takano-san…" I said before being swept away by one of his kisses.

A short laugh was heard. "Told you, you can call me anything you want…" He said before thrusting, making my hips raise into an arch.

"S-senpai…" I moaned again, making him smirk. His hands sliding down my body felt like bliss, as our limbs entangled in the silky sheets beneath us. Our bodies coiled against each other, as a flushing heat waved over us.

"Relax," he said again before another thrust. A wave of pleasure washed away all the anxiety and weariness that I felt a while ago. All of them were buried deep within, hoping to be soon forgotten. A final kiss was given before senpai pulled away and cuddled me. "I won't let you go, ever again…" He whispered silently.

"I won't leave you…" I replied before I fell into a deep sleep.

**To be continued…**

This chapter's a little bit longer than the previous ones but I'm so sorry for the short lemons. And next chapter, I think it's about time Ritsu should go back to work. I'm kind off excited for next chapter.

I hope you guys would leave some reviews!


	4. In an Awkward Moment

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This piece of fiction contains boy's love.

Fic isn't beta edited, so there are probably grammatical errors.

**Author's note:** Looks like I'm really getting into this story. I was tempted to write another chapter as soon as I posted the last one but unfortunately I wasn't able to finish it right away… oh well I have school and this semester is starting to be hell.

This chapter is dedicated for _You Me and Obsession_, Thank you so much for the constructive criticism. And for _Booboobitxch666, _thank you for the kind words. For all my other reviewers, I am extremely grateful for giving me inspiring words and for the unending support.

I'm really tempted to make Takano tease younger Ritsu. I hope I'm successful with this attempt.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

_**Chapter Four: In an Awkward Moment**_

I slowly opened my eyes and shut them instantly. Daylight had temporarily blinded me and it took quite a while to adjust with the brightness. My body felt so warm and I couldn't move, sheets and limbs entangled together made movement quite impossible.

I fluttered my eyes slowly and realized that I was pressed tightly against my companion's bare chest, his arms locking and preventing any movement. With my vision already clear, I could see senpai's broad chest pressing against my cheeks. Heat fired against my skin as I felt senpai's warmth, making me flush deep crimsons. His sturdy arms held me tightly like he wouldn't let go, and deep inside my heart I wanted to stay with him like this.

I smiled to myself as I stared at his sleeping face. I never noticed it before but Saga-senpai had long lashes. I moved a little causing senpai's grasp to grow tighter, slightly making me squirm in his arms. Curled up in his warm embrace, I pressed my forehead into his chest wanting to snuggle for more warmth. He stirred a little, his brows furrowed from the disturbance.

I felt another smile forming in my face as senpai's eyes slowly opened. "Good morning," I managed to say before I felt heated blushes creeping on my cheeks again, breaking our eye-contact.

"Good Morning," he replied with a short chuckle before running his smooth finger along my jaw line. "Are you alright?" He asked, caressing the brown locks that spread on my face.

"Yes."

The memories of last night hit me, several flashbacks on how I clung desperately to senpai made me feel a surge of embarrassment and shame. He comforted me from my troubles, his touch and caresses dissolved my anguish. Anxiety had left me a strong willed determination to redeem myself and prove my worth to all those who defamed me. The pain from those words disappeared replaced by the low whisper of my name which sounded like bliss in a heated, climatic moment seeping through my very soul.

Every now and then, senpai had stayed by my side. He didn't show any sign of disappointment upon realizing that I lost my memories-unlike my family and An-chan who were regretful of the fact that I was currently stuck into my fifteen year old mind. Not that I wasn't concerned about their worries-it was just that they weren't able to accept it easily.

"We should get ready," Saga-senpai said before sitting up, finally breaking his strong grasp on me. "I'm taking a shower," he announced smiling a bit, before standing. A slight hesitance flashed in his expression which made me flush deeper. "Don't miss me so much," he teased, lightening up such an awkward silence.

"I won't," I said defensively, turning away from him to hide away my shame. Still, senpai's touch lingered in my body. I could still imagine his smooth fingertips trailing in my chest and his warm breath tickling against my skin.

"Liar," a soft chuckle escaped from him, making me sink more in embarrassment. "You're so cute when you lie." He said, sending shivers through my spine before going into the shower.

"Meany…" I muttered silently, cocooned under those silky sheets. The spot where senpai left was still warm and I could still breathe his scent. I moved through his side of the bed and started inhaling what was left from the sheets and pillows.

"There are no towels in the shower-"I jumped in surprise as I heard his voice. "Hey, what are you doing?" A smirk appeared at the corner of his lips.

"Nothing!"

"Don't be shy. You already smothered yourself in my bed a long time ago." He chuckled before grabbing a towel from the closet and walking past by me as he ruffled my hair.

My cheeks burned, and I knew I wouldn't be able to face him properly once he was done showering. I could feel the heat rising again, now it didn't feel like ten years had passed. It was just like yesterday when I fulfilled my dream of jumping in senpai's bed.

It barely took ten minutes before he finished his shower. I flushed from simply hearing the sound of the sliding shower doors and running water.

"You should take a shower too," senpai said, drying off his hair with a towel. I was still wrapped in those thick blankets, still too absorbed by the fact that I was caught off-guard.

"Umm… yes…" I simply said with a nod.

"The heater's already turned on. You don't have to worry about the cold water."

"Thank you," I muttered as I silently stood up and walked in the showers meekly.

I found my clothes neatly folded at the counter, senpai must've folded them before taking a shower. I definitely needed a bath, my thighs were sticky and as well as other parts of my body. I flinched at the first contact of water in my skin, it was still cold but after a few seconds it became warmer.

After drying myself with a towel, I put on my garments and went out of the shower feeling more refreshed and rejuvenated. Senpai was seated on the bed, fixing his belongings perhaps another batch of manuscripts.

"Oh, you're done," he said, finally acknowledging my presence. "We should have breakfast."

We were already at the lobby; senpai had suggested a café near the hotel. I was walking along with him, feeling happy and subtly giddy that he was with me. I flushed, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks when his hand brushed my own, holding me again with such a calm look in his face. I held him back locking my fingers into his own which made him smile a little.

"Ricchan!" A familiar voice called, upon hearing my name, I instantly let go of senpai's hand. An-chan came toward us, almost running and teary-eyed. "I thought something happened to you!" She embraced me tightly, throwing herself into my arms, causing senpai to narrow his eyes and shot a glare directed to An-chan which thankfully she didn't notice.

"An-chan… I'm okay…" I said, "Umm An-chan… the cast." My eyes shifted at my left arm still wrapped in thick bandages.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You suddenly disappeared last night. Everyone's worried." She said, with her voice trembling.

"I'm fine besides sen- ahh Takano-san's with me." I almost slipped but she didn't seem to notice.

"Your next door neighbor?" She questioned, raising her brow.

"Yeah…" I was clueless too, despite that; I intended not to show it. "We met last night and I wasn't feeling well, he was kind enough to let me stay in his room." I explained, trying to shake off the awkward feeling between the three of us.

"That figures. Anyway, you should've told us…" she protested with a pout.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make all of you worry."

"Thank you for taking care of Ricchan," An-chan turned to face Saga-senpai with a smile.

"My pleasure," senpai simply replied with a smile, unknowingly for An-chan, a sarcastic one.

"You two should come with us. We're about to have breakfast, and your mom's really worried." She said with a welcoming smile, though I was certain that it wasn't the best idea.

"We'd love to…" Probably noticing that I was indecisive, he answered for both of us. He took a quick glance at me and smirked, I was clueless of what he had in mind.

* * *

><p>How did I get into this situation again?<p>

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, giving my companions a short smile. My parents were relieved to know that I was safe and alright. An-chan was with us too, her parents had gone home last night but she decided to stay in the hotel premises. It was awkward and uncomfortable enough to sit between An-chan and Saga-senpai with my parents sitting across us. I could feel the questionable stares being sent to me by An-chan and my mother.

"So who's this young man with you Ritsu-dear?" Mom asked, her gaze curiously fixed on senpai who sat across her.

"Ricchan's nighbor," An-chan simply said, giggling together with mom. They really got along very well, and they're proximate relationship scared me.

"Umm… this is Takano Masamune, Emerald's editor in chief." I introduced him, trying to break the silence. I took a glance at senpai, who looked so calm. Seriously, how could he be calm in situations like this?

"I know." Dad said, looking at Saga-senpai, observing him keenly. "We already met though we weren't introduced properly."

"I apologize for the trouble that I caused," he apologized with a bow. I was left wondering how in the world he met my father.

"You're forgiven and I hope you wouldn't do something like that ever again." Dad's tone was reprimanding-like the ones he used whenever I did something wrong back when I was a kid.

"You have my word, Sir." Saga-senpai replied. I was curious; I guess I'd ask him about that later.

We were silent throughout breakfast. I settled with having stolen glances at Saga-senpai as we continued in our meal. Mom ordered western food for breakfast, omelette, sausages and freshly baked bread on the table made me even hungrier. After all, it had been weeks of eating hospital food and during last night's party I was too tensed to have a decent meal. Senpai caught one of my glances, he returned the stare which made me sink in my seat as my heart throbbed like crazy. It was only him who could make me feel this way.

"What's wrong Ricchan? Are you feeling sick?" An-chan asked, placing her hand on my forehead. "Hmm… your face's red but you don't have a fever."

"I'm fine," I brushed her hand away, trying to distance myself from her. I could feel senpai's animosity at my side and I was fighting the urge to flinch.

"You two really look like a couple," mom said with such enjoyment, she had always been in favor of An-chan.

"Mom!" I protested, now it became more awkward.

"What's wrong Ritsu-dear? Don't be embarrassed, you have such a wonderful fiancée."

"It's just that- _please _let's not talk about _this_ today." I pleaded, wishing for mom to listen.

"I don't see anything wrong with it. After all, you two are engaged." She laughed a bit, "Oh and Takano-san's really good-looking. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I don't have one." Senpai simply said.

"Eh, you don't have one? That's quite unbelievable!" I think senpai got mom's full attention, and once she was like this, nothing could ever stop her.

"I don't think it's necessary to have a girlfriend…" he paused "…though I do like someone."

"That's nice," An-chan clasped her hands. "So what did you like about her?"

I felt deep patches of crimson spreading in my cheeks. The heat in my face doubled, I glanced at senpai while silently begging him to dismiss the topic but all I got as a response was a smirk.

"Kind, really shy but sweetly bold at the same time, honest and straight-forward," senpai's smirk never faltered. In every word, my heart fluttered and for a moment I wanted to disappear and shelter myself in a hole or just go somewhere.

"Then why are you hesitating, young man?" Mom asked with her brows quirked a little. "You're definitely one of the bests out there." I nearly choked into my drink.

"It's sort of complicated."

"Don't give me that. If there's somebody you like, you should tell her." This was coming from the woman who had pushed me into an unwanted arranged engagement.

"I'll keep that in mind." He replied plastering a naughty smile. Butterflies were once again in my stomach, oh how I wished that this breakfast would be over soon.

"So Takano-san, how's the manga business going?" Dad asked, finally joining the conversation once again, he possibly figured that the conversation earlier was purely girl's talk.

"It's running smoothly…" he paused a bit "…though we sometimes encounter trouble with our story boards," he added immediately.

Dad laughed a little. "You're quite unexpected; it's just that I've had a wrong impression of you."

"I guess I'll have to work on that," senpai replied. How could he get my parent's trust so easily?

"I've been considering hiring you at Onodera shuppan. Maybe you could give it some thoughts and considerations perhaps."

"That's a very kind offer, Sir, but sadly I refuse," senpai smiled apologetically.

"As I thought… but if you changed your mind, we'll be happy to welcome you." Dad said, "And also, I want to formally pull out Ritsu from Emerald." I saw senpai's instant change of reaction, his eyes widened in shock. "I figured that it should be better if he works at Onodera shuppan once again so we could easily keep an eye on him."

"But that's- I mean… I don't want to quit my job at Emerald." I said, causing all of them to give weird stares, except for senpai.

"Didn't you already agree to this?" Dad asked, quite surprised at my sudden outburst. "You're not yet capable of living on your own."

"I'll manage somehow…" I said, "…besides Takano-san's here to help."

"Ritsu-dear... it's for the best. We wouldn't want anything like that happen again." There was a tense aura enveloping us.

"I can take care of myself…" Dad raised his brow, mom simply looked at me with a heart-breaking expression. "I want to try living independently." I said firmly. All eyes were on me—my family looked at me as if I just talked some non-sense shit.

"Ritsu," dad warned. "You do not know what you are saying." Probably realizing that this issue was a family matter, An-chan and Saga-senpai decided to stay silent.

"I do know!" I replied instantly, causing dad's eyes to narrow and mom to give out a slight gasp. "I like my job… and I want to prove something." I said weakly.

"What exactly are you trying to _prove_?" Dad asked, "You've been one of Onodera shuppan's best editors and you've produced best sellers. What else would you possibly want to achieve?" I had never seen him this furious and it actually scared me. "This is your dream, right? Then why are you turning your back on it?"

"It is!" I replied instantly, jumping right off bat with the minimum courage I got. "I would never trade Literature for anything else…"

"See… you know it yourself. When you resigned and suddenly transferred to Marukawa I was disappointed. I thought you were planning to take over this company someday but that abrupt decision left me wondering why you chose to work on shoujo manga. You never read manga before."

"I do have my own reasons." I muttered weakly, trying to stay rational and polite with my parents. "I want to try things on my own and earn things with just myself."

Dad stayed silent. Nobody dared to talk and only the sound of silverware could be heard. Not even the noise from the nearby lobby could release us from this awkward situation.

"I just want things to be back on how they were. Please go home with us." Mom pleaded and it really made me feel bad. I felt an aching twist in my chest—I never wanted or even thought of hurting my parents. "Is that what you really want, Ritsu-dear?"

"Yes!" I replied without any hesitance. "Takano-san taught me about manga editing. I've already learned the basics. I'll be fine!" I reassured her, glancing up at senpai who sat next to me.

"It's true. Onodera's one of Emerald's reliable editors. As his boss and co-worker, it's such a waste for him to quit the manga industry." Saga-senpai said as he took my side and it made me feel so light and at the same time at ease.

"Ritsu…" My father could only stare at me with wide eyes. His expression was something that I wasn't used to see. Tension had built again and I was still having little confidence that dad would agree on this. Even with senpai's help, I could only blame myself if I failed to convince them that I would be fine on my own but with all honesty I wasn't really on my own, I had senpai who would be willing to help me learn more about my job. "I see… you've grown. When you lost your memories I thought I was able to regain my innocent little kid and it made me regret spending too little time with you. And for once, I thought this might be my chance to make it up to you."

I was taken aback with what he said. Guilt flowed into me, drowning me again with these unwavering feelings. Dad had only wanted to be with me and I too, regretted that I'd been too harsh on him.

"I-I'm s-sorry…" I muttered silenty. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be," Dad said with a smile. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a father and son talk with him. "I guess I have to live with the fact that you're twenty-five not fifteen. I won't get my fifteen year old Ritsu who needs my utmost protection anymore. But I am proud that you're able to make decisions by yourself."

"Thank you…" I smiled in relief. Finally, the issue of my changing jobs was settled.

"I'll take care of him," senpai said with a naughty smile, causing me to flush like a ripe tomato in front of my family. I couldn't even describe the weird looks they gave us.

And that was probably the most awkward moment of the day.

* * *

><p>"How'd you know my father?" I asked in the middle of fixing my messed up wardrobe. It'd been three days exactly since I moved back into my apartment. Mom and dad were still a bit hesitant about the idea of living independently but they made no objections in my decision. Though, sometimes dad sent someone to check me when mom's phone calls wouldn't get through. Saga-senpai sort of moved with me in my apartment. He hadn't slept in his own apartment since I got here and before we I knew it, we were already living together with some of his stuffs in my room.<p>

"Oh that," Saga-senpai said, looking at me with such cunning eyes. "I met him at the hospital when you got involved in that accident." He stopped browsing the story board in his hands. I could sense something different but I couldn't figure it out. "I was terrified when I knew what happened to you. I simply rushed there and when he wouldn't let me see you I literally trashed the place."

"That's—"

"Absurd." His brow quirked, "I was so worried and even though I told myself to stay calm several times, I just _can't_."I could heat in my face again; those words weren't really what I was expecting to hear.

"It's not!" I said, causing him to give me such a naughty smile. "It's just that…" I stopped with my cheeks flushing crimson due to embarrassment. It was just that I felt so loved by him.

"You know," he paused, pulling me closer to him. "You are just so cute when you get flustered like that." He said, giving me that _look_.

"I'm not-"I was about to protest until I felt his mouth on my own. Gently forcing his way in, I could feel the tiny nibbles that he made in my lips. The sweet sensation of his lips being pressed into mine devoured me whole as I gave into him. Slipping away with such an intense passion, I began to kiss him back.

"You are learning." He smirked, running his smooth finger tips along my jaw line, tickling me with his light touch. It was light yet it burned me with heat in my chest and face, leaving me breathless and in need of more. Saga-senpai picked me up and carried me into the bed, slowly removing every piece of garment in my body. Soon, I was naked under him.

"S-senpai," I moaned silently, begging him for more. I want to feel him more.

"Ritsu," he whispered in my ear, biting my earlobe gently which caused me to tremble at the sudden move. His hands run along my chest, tongue flicking over my exposed skin making me quiver in excitement. He softly pinched my nipples and rubbed them with his hands. Soon my moans became louder until I was aware of it.

"M-more…" I whispered beneath him.

Butterfly kisses trailed along my chest into my stomach with senpai's thumb playing with my navel. I could feel my body heat ten times more than the usual. I could only moan in pleasure as senpai's tongue flickered over my erected length.

"You're hard," he said. And I felt like I could die just from hearing him. I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at his face. "Ritsu, touch me too."

"U-umm, y-yes…" I complied, touching his private nervously, making me harder. And it surprised me to find that he was hard too. "I… I want to…"

"Seriously?" He asked with amusement.

"Y-yeah… I owe you a f-favor," I said as I moved over him. I gently sucked his shaft, causing him to whimper at my action. I didn't even know if I was doing it right but looking at senpai's pleasured expression it made me feel happy.

"Oh gods, Ritsu…" he said with ecstasy.

"S-senpai…"

Then senpai pinned me down with his strong arms. Senpai's lips pressing into my own, claiming me with his soft nibbles and gentle caresses. I clearly watched his expression, gone was that solemn look that I saw ten years ago. All I could see was a man who wanted me and all I could do was to give myself to him.

"I w-want y-you…" I mumbled, feeling that the words weren't audible enough. A soft chuckle erupted from his throat, as I stirred under him.

"Tell me exactly where you want me." He said playfully, nibbling on my lower lip, taunting me with such intimacy, as I felt heat firing in my whole body.

"I-inside m-me…" I stuttered in embarrassment. "I want you… inside me."

"As you wish," he said with a devious grin. I felt his smooth fingertips brushing along my thighs, circling them with such firmness. It was pleasurable; I could feel the pressure of his fingers into my sensitive spot. My hands curled into a fist under those silky sheets of blanket, senpai had me wanting for more.

I felt something warm forcing its way into my tight passage. I felt heat firing in every nerve as my hips arched in air. Saga-senpai's hot length was going deeper, thrusting in and out of me. It was blissful with senpai hitting my sweet soft spots, making me tremble and moan in deep pleasure.

"You're tight…" He said, as he held me on my hips, giving deeper thrusts satisfying my need, twisting my insides with his heated technique.

"Aaah…S-saga-senpai…" I whispered, melting in his touch and filling me with only him.

We came together before we both fell in bed, limbs entangled beneath the silky sheets. Both of us were catching our breaths after that intensely hot session.

"Ritsu…"

"Hmm?" I asked, as drowsiness engulfed me. My eyes were turning blurry.

"I love you," He said before kissing my cheeks and locking me into his arms.

"I…" I felt very tired and my body ached, before I could even say another word, sleep took me. As everything went black, I wished for a moment when I could properly tell him those three words again.

**To be continued… **

As usual, I am sorry for the shitty lemon.

Oh my! Ritsu's going back to Marukawa on the next xhapter! I hope you look forward to it! And I hope you leave me reviews! :D They motivate me so much!


	5. Back to Zero

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This piece of fiction contains boy's love.

Fic isn't beta edited, so there are probably grammatical errors.

Spoilers from certain episodes.

**Author's note: **Happy Holidays to all! If you've read 'A Special Present', that's my Christmas gift to all my readers. This chapter was meant to be my Christmas gift but I wasn't able to finish it on time, so I decided to make a separate drabble.

Thank you so much for the reviews! And Thanks to all who greeted me last Christmas!

The real drama of the story starts in this chapter. I admit that I'm not exactly happy with the events this time. And somehow, I'd love to give Takano a little stir!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

_**Chapter Five: Back to Zero**_

I couldn't exactly count how many times I came to look at myself in front of the mirror. I didn't even have the slightest clue on how many times I readjusted the necktie dangling in my collar. I was nervous. Today wasn't one of those 'usual days' when I would just lay down the couch and marvel on Usami-sensei's newest book or daydream about Saga-senpai. Once again, I ran my hand through my hair and fixed my messy locks.

"You're going to be fine." A voice behind me said. Takano Masamune, my current boss and my first love chuckled behind me. It must've been amusing to see me flustered over my appearance. "Come closer," he said with his gaze fixed on me. Senpai adjusted my necktie properly. "See…" He smirked before pulling me into a swift kiss.

"But what if I screw up?" I asked, my hand was trembling slightly. I didn't even notice it, not until Saga-senpai squeezed my hand through his.

"You won't," he said, placing his index fingers in my lips. "I'm with you, I'll give you a hand if you really need it."

"T-thank you…" I sank lower, desperate enough to hide the blush in my cheeks.

"We should go now before I change my mind." He said, half-dragging me along with him.

The train ride was jam packed. Nausea hit me several times in every station closer to our stop. Senpai sat beside me; I could clearly see his serious face while browsing a storyboard. It wasn't how I used to remember things. I'd told myself to accept these major changes in my life, just like today… I was going to work but unlike how I remember things; by now I should be in school. But that was the fifteen year old me, the one who could only watch Saga-senpai from afar. The twenty-five year old me was a working man and probably somebody who could handle waking up every morning beside Saga-senpai.

"We're here," he said, and I felt like I would faint anytime from nervousness. The office was only a matter of a short walking distance from the station. Upon seeing the building, my hand trembled madly.

We were greeted by a few staffs at the front desk. It made me feel more welcomed. They didn't give me intimidating nor peering looks, unlike those people from Onodera shuppan who bad-mouthed me during the party.

"Are you okay?"

"Somehow… yes…" I muttered weakly. As we got into the elevator, the ride seemed to be longer than it should be. And this day was probably the longest day in my life, I wasn't even sure if I'd make it through the end without any mishaps. We reached the fourth floor; where the editorial department was located. I swallowed the lump formed in my throat.

"This is Emerald?" I asked Saga-senpai…err Takano-san who stood beside me. Was this really our office? It was all _pink_. Not to mention all the plushies and the girly stuffs amidst the stacks of paper. It was more of like a girl's paradise, straight from some sort of fairy tale. I would've thought that I fell in wonderland instead.

"Yes it is, welcome back Onodera." Takano-san said with a smirk curved in his lips. Oh right, we were at work now. We both agreed that personal matters wouldn't mix up with our work issues.

"Welcome back!" Three men said in unison. I was a little bit startled by the gesture, causing me to move one step backward. They sparkled as if they were protagonists of some cheesy, romantic movie. They were so bright, not to mention that they all looked strikingly handsome, and I could do nothing but to flinch from the sight.

"Ricchan! I'm so glad you're back!" One of the men said as he moved closer to me. Still, the sparkles remained and it intimidated me. I got the chance to scan my surroundings, only to find the other editorial department staring at us like we were aliens.

"I-I'm back…" I simply said, avoiding his gaze.

"Ricchan, are you still sick?" He asked, his eyes focused on me. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't even know the guy's name. I turned at Takano-san and gave him a pleading look; in this situation I was desperate.

"Kisa, don't scare Onodera." Takano-san simply said, before dumping his bag on the desk. "Get back to work." Everybody seemed to go back to what they were doing after Takano's reprimand. His gaze shifted over me and the empty seat beside Kisa-san. I got the message instantly; that was my place. I flashed a thankful smile.

Kisa-san who sat beside me smiled every time I curiously checked out what he was doing. I flushed every time he caught me studying his every move. Takano-san ordered me to observe and let myself be familiar to our work place, that was the only task I was intended to do in my first day. "Ahh, Ricchan… perhaps you should check on how Mutou-sensei's doing." Kisa-san said, pointing at the phone in our desk.

"Ah… yes…" I scrambled a few things on my desk, searching for my contacts list. It took me a couple of minutes before I found Mutou-sensei's number written on some sort of leather contact notebook. "Found it!" I said impulsively, though I noticed Kisa-san's gaze on me the entire time. It wasn't only him, the other two staff members- Hatori and Mino- whom I've heard Takano-san called their names earlier also gave me quick glances.

"So it's true then," Kisa asked, with his jet black eyes focused on me. It was a peering stare, desperately prying for answers.

"W-what's true?" I asked nervously.

"That you couldn't remember a lot of things," And that hit it. I never expected them to know about my current situation. So that was why the trio was giving me worried glances every single time.

"W-well… I currently have post-traumatic amnesia…" I said with my head hung low enough to hide the blush in my face. He must've thought that I'd be useless.

"Poor Ricchan," he mumbled under his breath. Kisa-san's jet black orbs were extra-ordinary; they had a hint of maturity in them although Kisa-san looked so young. "Then if you have questions, feel free to ask." He grinned sheepishly before returning into his paperwork.

"Thank you so much," I replied, truly grateful for his concern. My co-workers seemed to be reliable- they all had the aura of being responsible and diligent editors. Yet, it was surprising to find myself in a bizarre situation. Surely, an all-men editing department in a pink, sparkly and girly office would be questionable for anybody.

"Umm, Kisa-san?" I called, his head tipping at the sound of his name.

"Yes?"

"I don't mean to offend or anything…" I paused, at the back of my mind there was this hesitation. "Why is the office like… _this_?" I asked, my eyes scanned the girl's paradise- our office- which didn't look anything like an office if you removed the tall stacks of papers on top of our desks.

"It was Takano-san's idea," Kisa-san said with a short chuckle. "He said it's a good way to feel how our readers feel. Most of our readers are women." He replied, and I couldn't help it but to give Takano-san a quick look. I didn't expect him to return the look. My heart throbbed faster when our eyes accidentally met. Heat was rising in my cheeks; and I knew by now that my face was in shades of crimson. "Seriously Ricchan, it's a shoujo manga thing to have secret stares with your lover." He laughed a little bit and I felt like I would melt in shame anytime. "Just Kidding!"

"I don't!" I exclaimed, raising my voice a little bit, causing everyone to give me concerned looks. I flinched from the unwanted attention; I bowed and muttered silent apologies as I stumbled back in my seat.

"Told you, I'm just kidding Ricchan."

I hadn't even lasted an hour of not doing something stupid today.

I called every single one of my authors, informing them that I might be able to take over again some time around next week. Takano-san and the other editors had temporarily shared a fraction of my assigned authors and they didn't mind the set up until I could finally handle them again on my own.

"Onodera," Takano-san called, apparently it was the time for a short break. I followed him, he stopped in front of the vending machine and bought two cans of coffee. He handed one can to me.

"Thank you."

"How are things going?" He asked.

"Good," I replied, quietly avoiding his heated gaze. I was surely flushing from embarrassment.

"Can you remember anything?"

"Nothing, so far. But it feels like I'm used to the environment." I gave a smile. He nodded and returned a gentle smile. Takano-san raised his hand to ruffle my hair softly. "A-anou, s-senpai…" I flushed shades of crimson, his eyes widened. He attempted to pull me for a kiss. I felt a very heavy stare at my back and I instantly pulled away from him.

"Oi Masamune." A voice from behind us echoed. I saw a very stern-looking man in a suit. His eyes narrowed at the sight of me, and I was certain that he was glaring at me. I flinched at his deadly glare.

'_You have no right to fall in love with Masamune.' _

'_I love him more than you do.'_

Those words echoed in my mind as I looked at the man in front of us. I felt an aching pain in my heart. His eyes contained disgust, and he was terrifying.

"Yokozawa," Takano-san called. The man broke his glare at me and turned his attention to Takano.

"The meeting's about to start," he said with a scowl. His eyes darted towards me, narrowing and soon turned into a full-blown glare.

"Tsch, I bet your boss will have another crappy stand in this one," I heard Takano-san snort a little. He faced me while his hands rested on my shoulders. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." I managed to say with a reassuring smile. Yokozawa was still glaring and scowling at me non-stop.

"Masamune!" He called and this time louder, his voice hinted some sort of possessiveness over Takano-san. "The superiors are waiting," he reminded, surely irritated by senpai's display of affection.

"Alright," senpai released me and gave Yokozawa a frown. Takano-san gave me one last look before leaving for the meeting.

Now, this was awkward with only the two of us and obviously he didn't like me that much.

"A-anou… I s-should be going n-now." I said as I turned away. I didn't bother to make this inconvenient situation longer.

"How many times have I told you to stay away from him?" He asked, arms crossed with a terrifying scowl. My eyes widened in fear.

"Umm… excuse me?"

"I made myself clear, haven't I?" He said. If looks could kill, I could've been one cold, dead body in an instant. His glare made shivers ran along my spine. It was something that detested my very existence. "Masamune's mine!"

He was in love with senpai too.

In my mind, I definitely said 'I knew it.' The way he acted around us earlier clearly showed jealousy.

"I know everything about him." He paused but still the scowl didn't falter. "What do you know about Masamune? You ran off before you could learn anything."

"I'm…" I was surprised, it was as if a bottle of pain popped in my heart and suddenly all I could feel was an aching heartbreak.

"You've been giving him too much false hope and hurt him more in the end. You're such a cruel person." His words struck me like lightning bolt. Yokozawa-san retreated, his back facing me as he walked away. "Don't involve yourself with Masamune any longer," he said before he fully disappeared in my view.

I didn't have any clue on what happened between Yokozawa-san and me but clearly we weren't in good terms. I hated myself; I hated being this useless and helpless. I couldn't remember a single thing within those ten long years and that made me hate myself even more. And if I ever hurt Saga-senpai, I didn't even know how to forgive myself.

Tears were starting to block my eye sight. Muffled sobs started to make their way into my throat. I ran until I found the nearest restroom, I locked myself inside a cubicle and broke down into tears. I know that I was being a cry baby but I couldn't help it, it wasn't as if I could control my tears. Emotions flowed, sadness, regret, pain and an unknown sense of longing struck like a quick storm brewing inside. I was being torn apart by the past and the present. An unknown past and a troublesome present made me vulnerable; his words were like sharp knives swiftly piercing my heart and everything I believed.

It was then that I realized, I needed to double my effort in regaining my memories.

* * *

><p>Takano-san would be gone the entire afternoon for the meeting. At least, I would have a lot of time to fix myself. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. I was lost in thoughts. Questions filled my mind and yet they were left unanswered. I couldn't focus on the manuscript that I was given to study, it remained still on my desk, untouched as I stared at it.<p>

"Ricchan?" I was startled when I heard my name. "Is there something wrong?" Kisa-san asked.

"N-nothing's wrong," I gave a smile. I didn't know if Kisa-san bought my excuse but I was relieved that he didn't press on the issue so much. It slid off like a slippery eel.

"Great," he said. "I've been in this crap since morning." He complained as he crumpled a little bit of the storyboard he was checking. "Oh, Ricchan. Could you photocopy this for me?" He asked.

"Okay," I replied with another smile. At least if I could photocopy this for Kisa-san, I'd be useful. I got up and went to the nearest Xerox machine that I saw. I didn't know what occurred to me but I pressed the wrong number of copies. I panicked when it wouldn't stop making copies. I didn't know what else to press in order for it to stop.

_Kami-sama, please save me from this shameful situation._ I prayed in my mind. Suddenly, a hand pressed the red button at the edge of the machine. The machine stopped and relief flooded me.

"Thank you so much," I smiled at the man in front of me.

"Onodera-san," he called. He knew me. And I felt really bad that I couldn't remember his name. "I came to give you this," He handed out a hard-bound copy of Sumi-sensei's latest book. "It was released yesterday and I want to give you a copy."

I smiled at him, "I'm grateful." I replied instantly as I held Sumi-sensei's book. "The front cover's really beautiful." I scanned a few pages.

"I really had a difficult time editing that," he laughed. "You know how picky Sumi-sensei could be."

"Eh…" I muttered silently. Oh right. I was also Sumi-sensei's former editor. Then this person should be…

_Hasegawa_

I quickly read the editor's name from the novel.

"Yes, authors tend to choose designs that they feel more connected to their work," I replied with a hesitated smile. "Thank you so much, Hasegawa-san."

"Since, your demon of a boss isn't here maybe this is a perfect opportunity to recruit you in the Literature department. We all know that Takano-san's pretty hard with his employees and he's difficult to deal with, and I know that you're more suited to edit Literature."

Did he just insult Takano-san?

"A-anou… you see… if you listen carefully to Takano-san you'll eventually succeed." I could feel my voice trembling. "H-he's just doing h-his j-job properly… and I can't see anything wrong with that." My cheeks were flushed. I was defending Takano-san and it made my heart go crazy.

"Yeah, he does create good results." Hasegawa-san said with a defeated smile. "I guess you're pretty attached to him now." I flushed, upon hearing those words. "Though I'd really love to work with you," I stopped and suddenly felt shivers.

"Again, thank you so much for the book and for the help earlier." I bowed slightly.

"We should go out drinking." He said, I tipped my head upward in confusion. Drink. He meant drinking with alcohol?

"Ah, no… I refuse." I shook my hands signalling a 'no'.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Umm… I still have a lot of things to do tonight."

"Then how about tomorrow night?" He asked again.

"A-anou…" I was running out of excuses.

"It's settled then. We're going out drinking tomorrow night." He said before he turned. "I got to go now. I still need to meet my authors." He was gone before I could even turn down his invitation.

* * *

><p>It was close to a heart break.<p>

I sat alone in the office, waiting for senpai to come back. The others had left barely thirty minutes ago, and I'd been sitting there for ages, doing nothing but observing how work flowed in the office. Kisa-san was nice enough to tell me more about manga production and the schedule of turning in the manuscripts. Although, at first I felt like I was being bullied at work due to the note that I found in my bag when I was still in the hospital- now I became more comfortable in their presence.

Still, the conversation with Yokozawa-san lingered in my mind like a plague. His steely voice and heart-shattering words crushed me. Not to mention, I still had to properly refuse Hasegawa-san's offer. A headache was forming. I felt very stupid to be worried about things that were totally unrelated with work. I rested my head over the desk. I felt tired in an instant and my eyelids became heavier.

'_You have no right to fall in love with Masamune' Yokozawa-san's voice echoed clearly. I opened my eyes and realized that we were at the hallway of our apartment complex. I wondered who he was talking to._

_My eyes widened. I saw myself facing Yokozawa-san and we were at Takano-san's front door. _

'_Maybe you should just date Takano-san again then. That would actually help me out." Wait a minute, this wasn't what I was supposed to say._

_I tried stopping myself. But there was no avail, words came out from my mouth unintentionally. _

"_All this has been a huge bother to me actually! I just want to work like a normal person. All the sexual harassment at work is troublesome! "Love him?" You've got to be joking. Quite the contrary, I actually hate Takano-san!" No, that is not true! _

_We heard the door opening. And there stood Takano-san with his eyes filled with shock. I couldn't bear the look in his face. He was hurt and I was the one who caused it. How could I hate him when all he had done was for my own good? _

_And it struck me…maybe… just maybe I didn't deserve Takano—Saga-senpai's love._

"Ritsu…" I felt like a bubble, floating aimlessly and lightly. "Wake up…" I felt a light stir but I didn't open my eyes. I wanted to stay like that, in my comfortable bubble, I didn't want to wake up anymore. But the voice wouldn't stop, it gradually grew louder until I had the strength to open my eyes.

"S-saga-senpai?" I mumbled silently, barely audible even for me to hear.

I heard a chuckle, "yes, and you fell asleep."

"O-oh… I'm s-sorry…" I simply said, gathering my things and followed him.

We went home together. The train was still the same as this morning, jam-packed and over crowded. We reached our stop in a short while. This time, we agreed to stay in his apartment. I brought over some of my stuffs. When I returned, I could smell stew.

"You can actually cook?" I asked, amused by the sight of him in a white apron.

"Yes, but you never let me cook in your apartment." He said with chuckle.

"So that's why you insisted to stay at your place," I raised one of my brows.

"On the contrary, yes…" He replied, tasting a spoonful of the stew he made. "It'll be finished soon."

"Alright, I'll set the table."

I never knew that he could actually cook, and not to mention that it tasted really good too.

"How's the stew?" He asked.

"Delicious," I replied with a smile.

"Maybe next time I could bring you to a fast food chain."

"Really? Like the ones that served those delicious sandwiches?" I asked, "S-sorry, my memory of that was ten years ago." I flushed in embarrassment as I looked away.

He chuckled in amusement, "If you like it, we could drop by next time."

"That'll be fun…but until now… I still don't think I'd be able to handle all those questions."

"Questions?" His face lightened, "ah you mean ordering."

"Yes."

"Then we could get the same thing again like we did before."

I was told to wait in his bedroom as he washed the dishes. I protested and said that I would help him but as usual he shrugged it off with things like I was still recovering from my injuries. Truly, the cast in my left arm was still in place, and would be removed sometime around next week but I wasn't a handicap.

Like the other nights, Takano-san would sit on a couch while browsing another manuscript. I sat on the bed, watching him and being silent all the time to avoid distracting him from his work.

"You know, I'd appreciate a conversation." He said, breaking the silence between us. "You've been staring at me for quite a while now. And you've been doing that for the past nights too." I could feel heat rising in my cheeks.

"A-ah… i-it's j-just that I d-don't want to d-distract you or anything…" I muttered silently, still flustered from the situation.

He took a few strides until he reached me. "You are a distraction." He said, pulling me into a hot kiss. "In a good way," he added with an amused laugh.

"S-senpai… you have w-work right?" I asked, my eyes focused on the manuscript left on the couch.

"Yes, but Erika-sama's work is just so boring, it's an eye sore." He complained.

He began teasing my nipples. His warm breath tickled against my skin, hot kisses trailed along my neck. A hot mouth claimed my own, our kiss deepened, his skilled tongue flickered against my own. I could feel heat rising in my whole body. Heavy and muffled moans started to erupt from my throat.

"You like that don't you?" Senpai asked in a teasing manner. He started to unbutton my shirt.

'_You have no right to fall in love with Masamune.'_

My eyes widened as I heard Yokozawa-san's voice in my mind.

"Stop!" I yelped in protest. I saw a hint of surprise in his face.

"Ritsu…"

"S-senpai…" I buried my face at the curve of his throat. "Could we j-just c-cuddle for tonight?"

When I looked at him, I only saw confusion in his eyes. Without saying anything, he complied by wrapping his arms around my waist. I smiled in relief as I leaned against his chest.

"Goodnight, senpai…" I said before sleep embraced me.

Still, the heart ache never disappeared.

**To be continued…**

I know some might accuse me of being a cock blocker! Anyway, I feel really sad for Ritsu in this chapter. I know that Yokozawa has Kirishima in canon, but for the sake of the fic… I'll use him against Ritsu.

Any suggestions and requests? I'm currently open for ideas.

Hope you guys would leave me reviews! Happy Holidays!


	6. Takano: His Eyes

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This fic contains boy's love scenes.

This fic isn't beta edited, so probably there are errors in grammar.

**Author's note:** I admit that this chapter came into mind unexpectedly. Sorry for the late update, I've been really busy and I know that I'll be far busier until January ends and my final term starts, so expect fewer updates until I get my vacation on April.

I'll only write Ritsu's P.O.V in first person, and third person P.O.V for others. Haha, I don't want to spoil you guys with my note. This is far different from any chapter I've written for this story.

Thank you so much for the reviews! I'd love to hear what you guys think of my story. I know it's not the best but I've been trying my hardest to write it effectively.

Tokyo Hospital= Tokyo Medical University Hospital

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi

_**Chapter Six: His Eyes**_

The cycle was difficult and exhausting. He was editor-in-chief of Emerald monthly magazine and it was his job to make sure that nothing would go wrong in their circulation. Masamune felt the need to rub his temples. He fixed his eye glasses over the bridge of his nose and massaged his aching temples, putting pressure to ease the head ache forming.

His eyes were blurry, silently begging for him to get some shut eye. Masamune fixed his gaze on his co-workers who were anxiously hauling their guts to meet the deadline. They'd all been working non-stop, and now they were at the most crucial time.

"Kisa-san! Phone call!" Onodera Ritsu called, almost shoving the phone receiver to Kisa who slumped lifelessly into his desk. Masamune could only observe his furious ex-lover who had ended up as one of his editors. Ritsu had been doing his best, and he could see that yet Masamune would never dare to admit it to the younger man, though he believed that he had hinted it out on Ritsu in some peculiar way.

He noticed that his kouhai's face was flushed, and he knew that it was his fault, though he didn't like the reason of Ritsu flushing due to work exhaustion. He would rather have Ritsu flushing beneath him with those blissful moans and soft touches.

He shouldn't have thought of that.

He had to admit that he was being hard on Ritsu this time. It was unthinkable for him to trash Saitou-sensei's manuscript with the deadline only a week away. Now, Ritsu and his author needed to start from the story board again. Masamune knew it was impossible to turn in a manuscript within a week when the other authors were crawling to get their manuscripts done within a month. He had suggested removing Saitou-sensei's work this month but Ritsu, being his stubborn self, had simply insisted that he would submit it on time.

"You're done?" It was Ritsu talking with his author on the phone, and Masamune's ears perked at the sound of his kouhai's voice. "I get it." He noticed the smile that formed on Ritsu's lips. "I'm coming right away…" Ritsu's voice was hopeful, and Masamune could almost smile at that.

Ritsu dropped the receiver and faced Masamune who was pretending to be checking one of Mutou-sensei's manuscript since Ritsu was busy with Saitou-sensei's work.

"I'm going to pick up the manuscript," Ritsu smiled victoriously. Masamune stifled a chuckle, but instead gave out an undignified smirk.

"Ha, you just got lucky this time." He said as he secretly slipped a note in as he shuffled Mutou-sensei's manuscript. It was an honest prank; he knew that Ritsu would recheck the manuscript again before it would be turned over at the printers, and Masamune could already imagine a cute and furious Ritsu demanding why the hell he would do such a stupid prank. And he was quite looking forward to it.

"Still, a manuscript is done!" Ritsu insisted like a child. He got a closer look at Ritsu's face. There were bags under his eyes and Masamune wondered when Ritsu had last slept, he looked tired and his face flushed. They all looked worn-out but there is something about Ritsu that bothered him. The pressure within the month's cycle was definitely doubled for Ritsu, with his author left out and only had a week before the deadline. But still, Ritsu and Saitou-sensei had managed to pull it together and that proved that Ritsu—_his Ritsu _was something.

"And yeah, drop this off the printers before you go back." Masamune said, handing Mutou-sensei's manuscript. "I've checked that but you should recheck again if the pages are arranged orderly. We don't want another misprint, do we?" Masamune raised his brow.

"Yeah, yeah… all that shit was my fault." Ritsu said, "I apologized already."

"That should never happen again." Masamune was having fun on watching Ritsu being flustered.

"Yes," Ritsu sighed, defeated. "Dealing with the printers makes me have a headache."

"You know that I don't tolerate half-assed work," Masamune said, provoking the younger man which amused him to no end.

"Yeah, and I'm sorry." Ritsu simply said before turning away from him. That was unexpected; usually his kouhai would have a rather insecure and offensive remark.

He silently watched Ritsu's retreating figure, a part of him felt very uneasy with his kouhai leaving the office but still Masamune considered that they were at work right now and personal feelings should never mix with work.

It had been an hour since Ritsu had left and Masamune felt his uneasiness growing stronger with each minute without his kouhai in sight. Masamune fought his foolish worry over Ritsu who was far more reliable than he had given him credit for, and that alone made him reassured that Ritsu would be fine. Yet, the strange feeling of his stomach twisting made him have second thoughts.

"Hatori, How's Yoshino-sensei's work?" He asked, with a low growl, as he tried to focus on his work alone.

"Right now, she's working on the last page." Hatori answered, so far they were doing well, they'd been in a lot more awful cycles before.

His phone vibrated.

_I just got Saitou-sensei's manuscript. I'm on my way to the printers. _

Masamune let out a relieved sigh when he read Ritsu's message of finally receiving Saitou-sensei's manuscript and was on his way to submit the manuscript to the printers.

_Good job. After you submit it to the printers, come back to help with the other manuscripts. _

His reply was snappy, though his message didn't contain any sign of worry over the younger man. Masamune was silently hoping that Ritsu would be able to come back soon.

* * *

><p>He was starting to get worried again.<p>

Two hours had passed and still no word from his kouhai. Masamune had been flooding Ritsu's phone with calls and messages but there was no avail, his kouhai wasn't answering any of his calls nor responding to his messages. It pissed him off; he even sent threats to triple Ritsu's workload if he wasn't going to reply at that very instant. Masamune knew that his kouhai would've replied once he read that message; still there was no word from Ritsu.

He was in his foulest mood; usually he'd have a leveled head even during the most brutal cycles. Masamune didn't know what was wrong, and the frustration welled up in his chest wasn't helping him either.

A phone call brought him back to his senses.

_Onodera Ritsu_

He picked up instantly, expecting to hear apologies from the brunette. "Oi, where the hell are you?"

"Hello, Sir. We're calling from Tokyo Hospital. I'm afraid…" said an unfamiliar female voice, "…Onodera Ritsu had been involved in a car accident."

Masamune couldn't believe the words he heard. The fear of losing Ritsu again struck him and pierced his heart like a hot knife plunged deeply. If he weren't careful, he could've dropped his phone anytime. His heart longed for Ritsu- _his Ritsu_ safe and sound in his arms. In a split nanosecond, he was on his way out of the office. He hurried over gathering a few of his belongings, shoving it into his bag and grabbing his coat. Masamune had ignored all the questions of his sudden impulsive behaviour. The look on his face must've scared them when all the voices had stopped the moment he turned, giving one last glare before he made his exit.

He could barely contain himself as he waited impatiently on the taxi. He tapped his fingers against his thighs, after a few seconds his fingers balled into a fist, clenched tightly. Masamune sent glares at the poor taxi driver who shuddered at the corner of his eye; it wasn't even their fault that they were stuck in a traffic jam.

He reached the hospital. Masamune paid the taxi without minding to get his change. His priority was Ritsu's well-being, not even caring about a small amount of yen, besides it was his compromise for being such a furious passenger.

Masamune scrambled through the hallways attempting to find the nearest inquiry desk. The strong desire to be on Ritsu's side burned in him as he strode along those hallways carefully, not bumping into other patients.

He stopped when he saw the nurse's station. The nurses didn't notice his presence. Masamune impatiently called their attention and had been very pissed when he was told to wait a moment.

"Excuse me," his voice faltered from the anguish he felt. "I'm looking for Onodera Ritsu."

The nurse eyed him. "Oh Sir, are you a family member of his?" She asked, her brows lifted, staring at Masamune's tall frame.

"No…" Masamune paused, "…I'm his co-worker."

She smiled before she took out a file. "It seems that he's been brought to a private room. He's been pretty banged up from that accident when he got here."

"How's he?" Masamune asked.

There was a slight hesitation on her face. "I'm afraid that he's still in comatose condition and currently unstable this time."

"Tell me what room he's in."

Masamune paced until he found Ritsu's room. His face flushed from running through the hallways, his heart clenched as guilt ate him, seeping his soul like a vacuum. He stopped in front of the doorway, swallowing the lump formed in his throat.

"Ritsu…" He muttered silently. The door was slightly ajar, allowing him to take a peek from the inside of the room. There he saw Ritsu lying in bed amidst the white sheets and covered by a blanket up to his chest. His kouhai lay almost lifeless and it pained Masamune to see him in that state.

It took a few strides before he reached Ritsu.

"Ritsu…" He whispered, as he stroked his kouhai's locks. Ritsu's face was pale, bandages wrapped round his forehead and a cast was placed on his left arm. Masamune observed the slow rising and falling of his kouhai's chest, it was as if Ritsu was in a deep sleep and it scared Masamune if ever Ritsu wouldn't wake up again.

The room was silent except for the constant beeping of the ECG. The waves rhythmically raised upward and downward monitoring Ritsu's heart beat. Life support and coiled tubes stick into Ritsu's body- and it crushed Masamune that those machines were the only things that kept his Ritsu alive.

Masamune had never felt this broken before. It felt like the brunette was being pulled away from him again, and he would never allow that.

It took him ten years to find Ritsu again, and now that he had found his kouhai, all of this shit happened. He was furious, angry at himself for not being able to do a single thing that could've possibly spared Ritsu from this accident.

A low snarl erupted from Masamune's throat. He would never forgive anybody who had hurt his innocent Ritsu.

The creaking sound of the door disrupted Masamune, tipping his head from the sound, fully aware of another person's presence inside the room.

"Hey you!" A man in a black suit came, frowning at Masamune who stood beside Ritsu's bed. "Who are you?"

"I'm Takano Masamune, Onodera's superior." He simply said, before turning away from the man.

"I'm sorry but you have to leave. Onodera-sama's on his way here and he ordered to only allow family members to see his son."

"You're asking me to leave?" He snarled dangerously. Masamune clenched his fist, he couldn't keep his anger to himself and now a strange man was asking him to leave. "You…"

"I'm sorry Sir, but we have orders to follow." The man nervously said. "Please leave."

Masamune's fist connected with the man's jaw, hitting it so hard that the man fell back on his knees. Masamune let out a low growl, fiercely facing the man who had attempted to throw him out.

"What's happening here?" An older man in a formal suit asked, his face filled with confusion. Masamune stared at the man who shared a few features of his beloved kouhai.

"Sir…this guy is causing trouble…" The man he punched said; his hand placed firmly over his jaw, trying to sooth the pain from Masamune's blow.

"Young man, you do understand the situation we have here, right?" Onodera-sama said, his face firmly contained a disapproving frown. "I do not appreciate you causing a scene when my son's still in _this _condition."

Masamune froze. "I just wanted to see Onodera." His eyes shifted to Ritsu who lay almost lifeless in bed.

"You've seen him and now if you could please leave."

"But I-" Masamune was cut off by a hysterical cry.

"Ritsu… dear…" Ritsu's mother stood by the doorway. She stood there like a statue, crying hysterically before rushing to her son's side, pleading for Ritsu to open his eyes.

Ritsu's father hushed his wife's crying. Masamune could only watch the scene unfolding right in his very eyes; he had seen how devastated Ritsu's parents were to find their only son on the verge of death. He figured that he wasn't any different from them, all broken at Ritsu's misfortune.

Masamune left silently, leaving the family in their own private time.

He stayed at the hospital's waiting lounge. He had decided to sneak back when the visiting hours are over. Settling with a can of coffee, Masamune waited in complete silence. His mind drifted from his relationship with Ritsu and the dreadful condition of his kouhai. Masamune blamed himself, if only he hadn't pushed Ritsu's limits. Ritsu was tired and he was too selfish dump a lot of work on his kouhai, though he knew that they were at work, it was still insensitive of him.

He had seen that Ritsu wasn't feeling good today.

Ritsu had been over-exhausting himself. He didn't even know if Ritsu was able to get enough, or even a little sleep, or if his kouhai had been eating properly. It was his stuck up attitude that led them into this devastating situation. Ritsu had been too tired; his body gave in and ended up passing out by the pedestrian just right when a car was rushing in.

Five minutes more.

Masamune checked his watched, only a few more minutes then he could pursue with his plan. If only Ritsu were here, surely he'd end up being whisked by the young man's tsundere-ness, scolding him that he was being stupid.

And indeed he was.

He stood up with all his determination, tossing the empty can of Black Latte at the trash bin. It was easy to sneak in when all the medical staff had been assigned to their specific posts, and there weren't a few round checks in the private rooms. Masamune continued with his stealth, taking light foot steps as he made his way back into Ritsu's room. Right when Masamune was about to turn into one of the hallways, he saw the retreating figures of Ritsu's parents.

He went inside the room, slowly closing the door behind him. He sat beside his kouhai's bed, simply observing Ritsu. Ritsu's sleeping face looked so pure and innocent; Masamune could compare him to an angel, simply beautiful.

Masamune brushed his thumb over Ritsu's pale cheeks. "I don't care if you call me an idiot right now…" he paused, "…but please… wake up." He caressed Ritsu's brown locks, planting a soft, chaste kiss over Ritsu's temple. "I love you so much. Please, don't leave me."

* * *

><p>It had been Masamune's routine for three straight nights. Sneaking into Ritsu's room when everyone's gone, and so far he had been lucky to be uncaught. He was gone before daylight, which was the time he knew that the nurses would make their rounds.<p>

He was exhausted too. It'd been three nights of him getting only a little sleep. Yet, he never wanted to miss a night of sitting along Ritsu's bedside, it made him feel at ease just by seeing Ritsu's calm and peaceful sleeping face.

Masamune was about to fell asleep when he felt movement. A soft stir in his hand, clasped against Ritsu's. The younger man stirred, and Masamune held Ritsu's hand tighter.

Those green eyes fluttered slowly, gazing at Masamune. Ritsu was awake, he could already feel his heart overjoyed. "Onodera, you're awake," Masamune spoke, he actually sighed in relief that Ritsu was alive.

"Y-yes," Ritsu replied. Masamune couldn't help it but to notice how cute Ritsu was.

He gently pulled Ritsu into an embrace, "You scared me, I thought you were going to leave me _again_."

"I w-would never-" He cut off Ritsu by placing his index finger on his kouhai's lips.

"Listen to me; I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day. I didn't know that you weren't feeling well and I just scolded you like that." Masamune's hand stroked Ritsu's hair, "I shouldn't have done that. You were pressured with the deadlines and all but I still edged you instead of helping you sort it out. When I heard what happened to you, I was _terrified_…I simply rushed and demanded to see you. I was so broken when your father didn't allow me stay with you."

A blush formed in his kouhai's face, "I-I'm sorry to make you w-worry." Ritsu said, turning away from him. Masamune was slightly confused of Ritsu's withdrawal, when his usual tsundere Ritsu was downright straight forward close to being annoying at times. Indeed, Ritsu looked adorable and Masamune wasn't able to help it. He pulled Ritsu into kiss. He was surprised when his kouhai responded, kissing him back.

"Looks like you're compliant tonight," He said with a smirk, "If only you're not injured, I would gladly make a mess out of you."

"W-what?" A flushed, confused and extremely adorable Ritsu asked. His face lit from the shades of crimson that spread on his face.

"Ritsu..." There was a slight pause, "I love you."

He didn't know what happened but Ritsu had frozen for over a second.

"Ritsu?" There was a slight confusion in his face.

"I-I love you too, Saga-senpai!" Ritsu blurted out, Masamune thought that his ears were playing tricks on him. He'd been through a lot, and still he wasn't able to hear those three words from his tsundere Ritsu, who had been denying about his real feelings for Masamune.

He pinned Ritsu into the bed, pulling his kouhai into a tight embrace."S-senpai… get off me!" Ritsu protested and his senses came- Ritsu was injured.

"I'm sorry."

"N-no, i-it's okay!" Ritsu hid his face. "In fact, I'm so happy right now like I could die anytime. S-senpai, you just told me that you love me." Ritsu smiled and forced himself to face Masamune without shying away. Masamune stood there like a frozen statue, confused and at the same time worried for his kouhai.

"Ritsu, are you really okay?" Masamune asked, his face contained of guilt for what happened to his kouhai. "It's my entire fault."

"No! It's my fault for being unfocused!" Ritsu mumbled, "I wasn't really paying attention to the practice game! It was my own fault that I was hit by that soccer ball!"

"I'm calling a doctor. You aren't alright." Masamune decided, as he stood up and was about to reach the receiver.

"But, I am alright," Ritsu whispered, "why don't you believe me?" The dejected look on Ritsu's face stopped him. His kouhai looked like he was about to cry any time and Masamune didn't know how to deal his usual cynical Ritsu being out of character.

"Ritsu, how old are you?"

"Umm, isn't it obvious? I'm fifteen." Masamune felt like all his color had been drained away from him, "A-anou… S-saga-senpai?"

"You were hit by a car… not a soccer ball. You were in critical condition and we were all worried that you won't make it." He revealed to his kouhai who was far more confused than ever.

"Ehh! How could that possibly be?"

"I guess you hit you head pretty badly. And you're twenty five not fifteen."

"That's impossible! Unless I did time travelling!"

"That's it, Ritsu… I'm going to call a doctor." Masamune said before he picked up the receiver.

Masamune watched Ritsu from the corner of his eye. His kouhai had been acting like his self ten years ago. Still, Masamune couldn't help it but to be worried of Ritsu's memory loss.

* * *

><p>Emearald's cycle had been starting to be rough again, and with one man loss in their team, things couldn't get any worse. Masamune had been feeling the strain of the cycle, he was tired and he wanted to check on Ritsu that badly. He hadn't been able to visit him in the hospital ever since the cycle's most brutal period came.<p>

'One more manuscript'

Hatori had been on the phone for hours, checking on Yoshino-sensei's work, probably harping at the author's lateness with the deadlines. Masamune had finished all his paperwork, he slouched on his seat in an undignified manner, playing with the pen in his hand.

"Yoshino-sensei's manuscript is already in." Hatori said, tucking in the manuscript in his hands, handing it over to Masamune to have a final check.

"Good," he simply said as he ran through the pages. After a while of scanning, he gave it back to Hatori and the man handed it down to the trainee that the printers sent to collect the manuscript.

The cycle was officially done. And Masamune headed out immediately to the hospital and was surprised of the fact that Ritsu got discharged that morning. Masamune hastily picked up his phone and dialled Ritsu's number.

"H-hello" He heard Ritsu's voice from the other line. His eyes narrowed at the slight trembling of his kouhai's voice which almost sounded like a squeak.

"Ritsu,"

"S-senpai," Ritsu's voice was weak and faltering, nonetheless Masamune knew that there was something wrong.

"Where are you?" He asked, in an unusually demanding way. "I visited you at the hospital and the staff told me you weren't there anymore."

"I g-got discharged t-this m-morning," Ritsu paused. "I'm in T-teito h-hotel, the c-company's h-having a p-party…"

"Are you crying?" Masamune asked his kouhai, the short gasp from the other line hinted that his hunch was indeed correct. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not c-crying."Ritsu lied, but even his kouhai couldn't hide those muffled sobs escaping him. "I'm alright." Ritsu added firmly.

"Wait for me," there was a slight pause. "I'm coming there this instant."

He took a taxi cab and made reservations at the hotel in just a matter of minutes. Masamune couldn't contain himself any longer since he hadn't seen Ritsu for three straight nights. The cycle kept him occupied, and now his kouhai was out of the hospital.

Teito Hotel's lobby was filled with guests and tourists checking in. Masamune had scrambled his way until he saw his innocent, little kouhai seated in one of the couches. Ritsu's face lightened upon seeing him, and Masamune couldn't feel any better. All he wanted was to pull Ritsu into a tight embrace.

"Ritsu," Masamune called, in his low resonating voice. "Tell me what's wrong," it sounded more like a command. Ritsu hadn't said a single word but he was totally restless. After a few moments of silence, Masamune held his kouhai's hand and led him into an empty corridor before pulling Ritsu into a tight embrace. Masamune held Ritsu like he was the most precious person in his life, indeed Ritsu was. Ritsu was his everything.

Tears flowed from his kouhai's eyed which startled Masamune a little "I-I was…" A few sobs escaped from Ritsu's lips. "T-they w-were talking bad a-about me…"

"What did they say about you?"

"I-I was u-using my parent's c-connections to be on t-top... I'd never d-do something l-like that b-but they're accusing me of n-nepotism." Ritsu sobbed, clutching tightly on Masamune's shirt.

"Everything will be alright," he said as he stroked his beloved kouhai's hair. He was delighted when he felt Ritsu loosened up with his touch. "You're going to be alright. I'm here with you."

Ritsu leaned against him, seeking for support. "T-thank y-you…" He managed to say.

"No problem," he said, before pulling Ritsu into a heated kiss.

"S-senpai…" Ritsu moaned silently.

"Besides, it was the same reason why you transferred to Marukawa."

"Eh…" He couldn't help it but to be amused on Ritsu's surprised face.

"You wanted to prove that all of them were wrong," he said looking directly into his kouhai's eyes. "You've been working so hard and I've seen it."

"Really?" Ritsu tipped his head curiously, and Masamune knew that he couldn't hold back any long with Ritsu being _this_ adorable.

"Yes, does that make you feel better?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for making you come over here over nothing."

"It's not 'nothing', you were hurt and I'm worried about you." Masamune stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"S-sorry for ruining your s-shirt," Ritsu said before pulling away from him, flushing from embarrassment.

"Then you should make up for that," Masamune smirked naughtily before grabbing Ritsu's wrist and dragging him in one of the hotel rooms.

"W-wait!" Ritsu protested. "You… since when did you get this room?" His kouhai asked adorably, watching Masamune slide the key card into the door's swipe.

"Just a moment ago, while I'm on the way. I made reservations," was his only reply before pulling Ritsu inside the room and pinning him against the bed.

Masamune stripped Ritsu's garments, preferring his kouhai naked and sprawled out under him as he trailed butterfly kisses along Ritsu's bare chest. He felt Ritsu squirm with his kisses, his kouhai flushing from the sensation. Masamune claimed Ritsu's mouth in a hot, intoxicating kiss, making Ritsu quiver in excitement. The sight of Ritsu flustered and naked almost drove Masamune into madness. All he had in mind was to taste every inch of Ritsu's gorgeous body.

He wanted Ritsu.

"S-saga-senpai," Ritsu moaned, though Masamune knew that Ritsu hadn't meant it… his kouhai was being seductive. And Masamune couldn't help it but to get turned on by his kouhai's embarrassed face.

"Ritsu," Masamune muttered. Tongue flicked over Ritsu's exposed skin, Masamune loved the sweetness of Ritsu's body. Masamune smirked before playing with Ritsu's nipple, making them hard as buds, pink and very erect. His teeth tugged at the rosy pink bud as he sucked it harder, earning a pleasured whimper from Ritsu.

A soft whimper of protest escaped Ritsu's soft lips when Masamune stopped touching his nipples. Masamune straddled Ritsu's thighs, circling them with pressure while his mouth sucked Ritsu's erected nipple. Soft moans erupted from Ritsu's lips, making Masamune in dire need of pleasuring his younger lover. He only wanted him to remember the feeling of his touch forever. He wanted Ritsu to forget all the things that could make him lonely. Ritsu's flushed face made Masamune harder. Ritsu also needed him that badly and who the hell he was to spoil Ritsu's fun?

His hands slid down to touch Ritsu's hard length, Ritsu had moaned louder at the touch. Masamune stroked it with his hand, playing with Ritsu's fully erected member.

"I p-promised to call you T-takano-san…" Ritsu panted in between breaths. Masamune pulled him into another kiss, feeling the softness of Ritsu's lips against his and the deep alluring sensation of Ritsu kissing him back.

Masamune chuckled "Told you, you can call me anything you want…" He planted a soft kiss on Ritsu's cheek, feeling the heat of his younger lover's body. "I want you…" Masamune said, again claiming Ritsu's mouth.

Masamune had gone back working on Ritsu's hard length. His teeth tugging and his tongue flicking over Ritsu's manhood, Masamune lowered and began sucking the hard member, slowly thrusting it in and out of his mouth making Ritsu writhe in pleasure.

A soft cry of pleasure escaped Ritsu. Masamune had to do it.

"S-senpai…" Masamune spred Ritsu's legs further. A startled cry erupted when Masamune inserted his fingers into Ritsu's entrance, making his younger lover whimper in delight, preparing Ritsu for penetration. Masamune thrust his own length deeply into Ritsu's entrance, heat spreading in his body as he thrust deeper into Ritsu's willing body tightly clenching against Masamune's hard length. The scorching friction of the thrusting and shoving of Masamune's length inside Ritsu made Ritsu tremble. Finger's dug on Masamune's bare back as Masamune's thrust became quicker, continuously shoving his length in and out of Ritsu.

A muffled scream escaped Ritsu when Masamune hit his kouhai's sweet spot, thrusting harder and faster which made Ritsu burn. Ritsu arched his hips in response, wanting Masamune to thrust deeper inside him. His legs wrapped against Masamune, willingly accepting the man's length.

Masamune felt Ritsu's hand clenched tightly, feeling his own orgasm nearly at the climax. "Relax," he said again before another thrust, feeling the sweat trickling against Ritsu's chest. He licked Ritsu's nipple and kissed his throat before pulling out from his younger lover, earning a strained whimper from Ritsu.

Masamune bore his face at the curve of Ritsu's throat, teeth nipping at the soft skin of his kouhai. Ritsu's eyes were heavy, Masamune saw that sleep was already tempting Ritsu. He pulled Ritsu into another kiss, cradling Ritsu's smaller frame against his body, pulling the blankets to cover their bodies, shielding them from the cold.

"I won't let you go, ever again…" Masamune whispered silently, gently stroking Ritsu's hair. Ritsu was pressed against his bare chest, locked in Masamune's arms.

"I won't leave you…" Ritsu whispered, snuggling closer to him.

Masamune watched as his lover slept, arms protectively wrapping kouhai. He had lost Ritsu before and he had almost lost him again, he only had himself to blame for that. Ritsu's soft snores made Masamune chuckle, he leaned forward and planted a gentle Ritsu's forehead.

Masamune couldn't help it but to wish that Ritsu wouldn't remember the pain anymore. He knew that he was being selfish, but making Ritsu discover the truth would be heartbreaking.

He swore to himself, this time he would protect Ritsu with his everything.

**To be continued…**

There you have it! Masamune's P.O.V! I think his P.O.V is hotter and less censored than Ritsu's... Now, hit the review button below and tell me what you think!


	7. Past and the Present

**Title:** Jaded Memories

**Author:** Miyuki Meiru/ Mai Sasaki

**Summary**: I saw headlights, heard an almighty ear-breaking screech, and then nothing. I woke up in an entirely different life than I ever imagined. –Onodera Ritsu

**Pairing:** RitsuxTakano

**Genre:** Romance

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** This piece of fiction contains boy's love.

Grammatical errors

Spoilers from certain episodes.

**Author's note: **I'm so sorry for the extremely late update. I didn't update for like a year? I guess my readers might be frustrated with the slow updates. I'm going for a trip on the next two weeks so I'll start working on my next chapter when I get back. I'm starting to think more of the drama that I've just written in this chapter. Younger Ritsu is so much interesting to write with all the naivete and his innocence.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

**Chapter Seven: Past and the Present**

My second day at work was better, at least now I could do the typesetting properly. Kisa-san had instructed me and lucky for me, it seemed that my hands were still used to this kind of work. Takano-san had insisted to let me observe again for this day but I protested. He was frustrated at me- muttering about how I was back to my stubborn self- which confused me endlessly. We hadn't talked the entire train ride and had been ignoring each other since we arrived at work. Now that I think about it, I was being unreasonable and Takano-san had a point.

"Ricchan!" Kisa-san called, "you're spacing out."

"Oh… I'm very sorry. What are we talking about again?" I asked, deeply buried in shame.

"We were talking about Mutou-sensei's manuscript. The heroine goes into a date, it's a bit of a cliché don't you think?" He asked.

"Well, they had a trip to the aquarium, a movie and lunch… is that really cliché?"

"Honestly Ricchan, I haven't realized how much you're missing until now. Seriously, you haven't gone into a date?!"

I was blushing madly, Kisa-san's outburst was way too much for me to handle. Come to think of it, I may have gone into a date before, it was just that I couldn't remember anything about it.

"It's safe to go for a cliché… but Mutou-sensei's manuscript lacks some substance. It feels like something's missing out there and it's an editor's job to find out what it is."

"T-thank you, Kisa-san"

"And while finding that missing piece, you may as well enjoy a date or two."

"Kisa-san!"

"I'm just kidding! Don't take me so seriously!" Kisa-san laughed.

After that awkward conversation with Kisa- san, I went into the nearest vending machine to get a drink. I bought black latte which, by now had been my one of my personal favorites.

"Onodera, it's nice to see you again."

"I'm v-very s-sorry but I couldn't go d-drinking with you t-tonight," I reluctantly said, trying to avoid his eyes as I remained facing the floor. It was uncomfortable enough to make me run and lock myself away.

Hasegawa-san shifted his gaze; I tipped my head to peek if he was mad. He wasn't mad but he wasn't happy either, I'd label his expression as disappointment. I felt guilty but I know that if I gave in to his offer I'd feel even guiltier to face Takano-san.

"You know it's a good opportunity to get to know each other," he said still trying to convince me, which I already knew, wouldn't work on me. It was horrible enough to see him trying.

"Um… well I still have to work on my manuscript…"I said trying to hide my nervousness with laughter.

"Some other time then…" He said with a hopeful face. "How about this weekend, I know a very good place… we could-"

"Sorry, but this guy's occupied for the whole weekend." I was surprised with the sudden interruption of a familiar voice. Takano-san was standing right behind me with a pissed expression.

"I see; I do hope you won't give Onodera-san a difficult time." Hasegawa-san replied.

"I only give an appropriate amount of work." Takano-san sneered.

"I better go now. It's good to see you, Onodera-san. You're welcome in the Literature Department so feel free to drop in any time." Hasegawa-san gave a smile before he left, leaving me sighing in relief.

"T-takano-san… that was-"He pulled me into a tight hug.

"W-we're at work…" I reminded him. I flushed, "we should do this kind of things at home."

"Who cares?" He snickered.

"T-takano-san!" I tried to distance myself from him.

"If anybody dares to snatch you, I think this will give them a damn good show." He said before pulling me again into another hug. I swear I heard a squeal or two… or was that me squealing in my mind? I didn't know. The only thing that I could think of was senpai's hot breath tickling my earlobe.

"I think we should get going." Takano-san said, pissed off when he heard some noise coming near us.

* * *

><p>Takano-san had insisted to cook again, this time it was curry. It came to my thoughts that somehow, Takano-san's spoiling me by taking care of almost all the house chores.<p>

"I have no idea." I slumped at the table where Mutou-sensei's manuscript laid. "There's something missing …"

Takano-san eyed me suspiciously, his lips curved into a smirk. "You want me to help you?"

"Thank you…" I smiled at him. Takano-san took the seat next to me. He gently flipped Mutou-sensei's manuscript while I stared at his serious face. Everything about him was still the same, his expression and the way he looked like when he reads something. Those were the things that I came to love.

"She's cramping too much panels in one page. It disrupts the momentum of the story. It would be better if you cross this panel out while you transfer this one to the next page." I watched his hands moved.

"Ritsu?" The sound of his voice calling my name made me snap out of my thoughts.

"Y-yes?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Nothing…"

"Ritsu, tell me what's bothering you" his tone was reprimanding yet there was a hint of concern. Takano-san's eyes narrowed as I sat beside him frozen and fiddled by the moment.

"It's silly," I looked away from him. "I still couldn't get shoujo manga, it's all about love and sparks…and all those sappy lines. It's manga and it's way too different in real life."

"That's it?" Takano-san didn't laugh, he only stared at me with a puzzled look. "After all this time, you couldn't even get simple things like that?"

"Is there something wrong with that?" I asked with a pout. I was starting to be pissed off. He didn't laugh but somehow I wished he could have just laughed at me.

"I'm not teasing you or anything but just a while ago you were just so cute."

"S-senpai!" Before I could protest anymore, I was pulled into an embrace. I could feel his warmth and I could feel his slow, even breaths right into my ear. If only we could stay like this forever I would have taken the chance. "It's settled. We're going on a date this weekend."

I pulled away from him, "What?!"

"You heard me. We're going on a _date_." Takano-san repeated.

"It's so sudden and I don't really know what to do…"

"It's alright, I'll be the one to decide our itinerary… or rather, is there some place that you'd like to go?"

"I don't really know…"I replied with a blush. It felt very unfair that Takano-san would only be the one who'd bear all the planning. I knew that he'd be busy too but it was just that I didn't have any idea how a date should go. Clearly, it wouldn't be like those novels… reality would be a little different.

"It will be fine. You don't have to worry about anything." He smirked as he ruffled my hair. Takano-san was very reliable and he liked to take care of me.

"Takano-san…" I paused, "I think it's unfair that you're the only one who'll make the plans…let's make a promise." I could feel his curious stare at me, even though I couldn't clearly see his face I knew that he was amused. "The next time we go on a d-date, I'll be the one who'll do the planning… Is that fine?"

"So that would make it two dates in a row."

"I m-mean in a very far future…"

* * *

><p>It was really unbelievable to think that I was in a real date with Saga-senpai… or rather Takano-san. I stole another glance at him right before blushing and looking away. We were walking side by side, and if I were braver I'd probably hold his hand. Still, the idea of going out with him and being his lover was just like some sort of dreamland. There were awful nights too, where in I dream about waking up, and then I was fifteen once again.<p>

I felt something brushed along the tip of my fingers. I could feel Takano-san's fingers slowly locking into mine. We weren't talking but somehow it felt like our minds were connected, more like our souls were being linked by our emotions. I think I was getting the hang of reading too much shoujo manga.

_Forever._

If only I could hold his hand like this.

Takano-san stopped, "We're here." He was still holding my hand as I scanned the place. It was such a huge movie house. My memory of this place was different; I guess they had too many renovations that I almost didn't recognize the place anymore.

"What are we going watch?" I asked, trying to ignore the loud thumping of my heart.

"Panda Warrior"

"Ooh… that sounds interesting."

"Surely it does. You think I'll choose a boring movie? Come on, I've had enough boredom piled up from Ichinose Erika's work." He had such a serious look in his face. If he were another person, I could've felt intimidated and would have fled as fast as I could.

I laughed at him, "And you were the one who told me not to talk about our work today."

"Sorry…"

"No, really, it's okay to whine about things if that would make you feel better."

"We're on a _real_ date and here I am trying to ruin it."

"We haven't started yet…"

The movie house was quite full with people and especially couples which made me a little nervous. Takano-san bought drinks from the nearby vending machine. There were still some noise from the crowd, as for us, we weren't speaking to each other. Once again, Takano-san must've felt my nervousness when he held my hand just like before we went in. He only gazed at me, he didn't say anything yet it was already enough to make my heart beat fast.

The lights turned off completely as the movie started. I tried to focus my attention on the movie but I couldn't help it but to take secretive glances at Takano-san who was quietly watching beside me. It was really an interesting movie and the graphics wasn't bad either.

"I'm starving," Takano-san said as we walked out of the movie house.

"Me too…" I simply said as I tried to hide another blush. I started to be more comfortable around him but there were still some points in our relationship that seemed surreal. We were walking for about fifteen minutes when Takano-san stopped.

"Here we are." He simply said.

I stared wide eyed at the very familiar fast food chain. "This place…"

"I think I've told you before that I'll take you to this place once again. You liked the food here, right?"

"Yes…" How come he could still remember those tiny details? For Takano-san, it had been ten years since we came here, but for me who had my fifteen-year-old memories, it was just like yesterday.

"And you don't have to worry about those 'questions' anymore. I'm going to order for both of us." He suggested before a smile plastered on his face.

"Takano-san…" I stopped.

"Is there something wrong?" I looked up into his worried gaze.

"Nothing. I'm just so happy." I smiled, "so happy…"

"I'm very happy too, Ritsu."

We spent our lunch time talking about Usami Akihiko's books. Takano-san had been very patient and kind to me. He listened to me as I babbled endlessly about my favourite literary works.

"Ne, Takano-san… what do you think of Sumi Ryouchi's works?" I asked.

"I've read all of them. They were nice but still Usami Akihiko's works are more appealing for me."He said before drinking his cola.

"I think so too. Usami-sensei's writing is really fascinating."

"Maybe next time, we could go to one of his book signing events. He rarely have one since Isaka-san said that he isn't very cooperative when it comes to company events."

After we had lunch, Takano-san brought me to a more familiar place.

'_I love you… senpai…'_

The library where I confessed to him looked almost the same as it was ten years ago. The old bookshelves were still there, and the very same arrangement of tables. Takano-san held my arm and led me into the rows of bookshelves. There were only a few people in the library, and it was really fortunate that nobody saw my flustered face. He suddenly stopped, and looked at me with those shining hazel eyes. He smiled as he held both of my hands, locking his fingers into mine.

"This is where it all started."

I scanned my surroundings. I gasped in surprise when I realized where I was standing.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

"Takano-san… I-" He cut me off by placing his index finger on my lips.

"This place holds so many memories," he said. "This spot holds the most special one. You do remember right? This is where you told me that you love me."

"I do remember…" I smiled at the nostalgic feeling. "I remember being overflowed by my feelings."

"That was ten years ago." Takano-san said, his eyes only focused on me. It felt like his gaze was melting me slowly. "I love you, Ritsu. I want to be with you. I want to take care of you and make you happy."

He pulled me into an embrace. I was surprised at his sudden confession. "I've always loved you. I loved you before, and I still love you now." I whispered slowly.

"I won't let you leave me." He said, still locking me between his arms. "Just remember that." I could feel his hot breath tickling my ear.

"I will always stay by your side, Taka-…"

"Call me Masamune."

"Alright, M-masamune-senpai."

"You could drop the 'senpai' off."

My heart was bursting with all these mixed feelings for him.

He gently pressed his lips into mine, I started to move my lips, as I kissed him back. He deepened the kiss by pulling me closer. We both parted, as we catch our breaths from that kiss.

Takano-san was simply staring at me, not saying anything. Hand in hand, we left the library that held so many memories for both of us.

We had ice cream and played some random games at an arcade. He brought me to different places, like an old museum where we both enjoyed checking out the different archives. We went for a drive while listening to a pop song that I wasn't familiar with. I had no idea where we would be going.

"We're here…"

'_Snow'_

'_Are you satisfied?'_

'_Huh? Yes, but I'm fine if you are happy.'_

"The view is so beautiful." I simply said in wonder. The whole city could be seen. The bright lights and the huge buildings, everything seemed to be small.

'_I just wanted to see this with you…'_

"I've always wanted to come here with you." He said as I blushed, tightening my grip on the metal bar.

"Masamune…"

"Back then, I'm always thinking about how our date would go. It was childish."

My eyes widened, "Not really. I'm also thinking of things like that."

It was a memory. We had been here before. I was here with Takano-san.

"Snow…" I said slowly. Takano-san's eyes widened as he heard my voice.

"What did-?"

"It was snowing at that time right?" I smiled at him.

"Are you starting to remember?" He asked as he held my arm, pulling me closer to him.

"Yes, it was so cold but when you touched me… it was warm." I felt his grip tightening on my arm. "I can't remember everything. We were talking and then…" I stopped as flashback hit me.

_Everything was almost covered in snow. It was beautiful._

_I felt Takano-san's lips on mine._

_He was so warm._

'_Stop'_

'_Why?'_

'_What do you mean, 'why'? You have Yokozawa-san'_

'_Hey, why do you always bring him up?'_

'_Because he told me that you were going out so…'_

"Ritsu?" I snapped from my thoughts upon hearing his worried voice.

"I'm sorry, I spaced out…" I tried to avoid those concerned hazel eyes. "I'm feeling dizzy."

"Maybe we should go home for now." He said before leading me into the car. He held me tightly, as if I was going to disappear anytime.

If he were going out with Yokozawa-san, why was he still bothering to take care of me?

Why did he take so much trouble taking care of me?

'_You have no right to fall in love with Masamune.' _

'_I love him more than you do.'_

I was sitting on the front seat silently. Takano-san tried starting a conversation a few times but I wasn't just in the right mood.

"Do you want to eat a little?" He asked.

"I'm not really hungry." I simply answered before staring at the window.

What if he was just feeling guilty?

What if he only pitied me since I had no memories of the past?

What if he was only playing along due to my memory loss?

Suddenly, I was afraid to remember the past. I wanted things to stay like this. I wanted to be with him so badly that it hurt me to think of the different possibilities. What happened to me? What happened to us within those long ten years?

The car stopped. I was thinking too deeply that I didn't even notice that we were already at home. "You should get some sleep." Takano-san said, before placing his palm on my forehead. "You don't have a fever, but I'm still going to check your temperature."

"A-ah, yes… but you don't really need to do those unnecessary stuffs."

"I told you that I'll take care of you, right?" He helped me out of the car and led me onto his apartment. We went inside and he helped me settle on the couch before he went to the kitchen to get some water.

I silently watched him with my eyes as I kept thinking about his relationship with Yokozawa-san. "How long have you known Yokozawa-san?" I asked, he simply stared at me for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, you don't really have to answer that.

"I've known him since college." He sat right next to me, "why do you ask?"

"Nothing." I simply said before taking the glass of water. "I'm really tired tonight but it had been very fun." I smiled at him.

"You should take it easy at work tomorrow. Maybe you could take the day off."

"That's not like you. You're not really that lenient with your co-workers." I said, "I will be fine tomorrow. I only need to sleep-"

"And have dinner. You haven't eaten yet." He reprimanded.

"You're starting to sound like my mother." I told him. He must've found it amusing since I heard him stifling a chuckle. "Fine, I'll eat if that will make you stop worrying."

Takano-san re-heated the curry we had left yesterday. It was still good even if it already stayed in the fridge for a whole day. We ate in silence. I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want to hear another lecture from Takano-san about my health.

I rechecked Mutou-sensei's manuscript and placed my corrections. This time, it went smoother than my first try.

"You're making some good progress there." Takano-san said as he peeked from behind.

"Thank you…" I smiled at him.

After checking Mutou-sensei's manuscript, Takano-san insisted that I should get my rest. I didn't bother to argue and simply laid in bed.

I'd been asleep for two hours. I saw that the lights were still open outside the room, Takano-san still must've been working on his manuscript. I was thirsty and I decided to stand up and get some water. I tried to walk steadily, working hard to get my balance. The medicine I took before I slept would make me wobbly every time I wake up. I was about to open the door when I heard voices.

"Masamune, you can't do this again! You know what happened before."

Yokozawa-san was here.

"Yokozawa… I was troubled by a lot of things before. It's not Onodera's fault."

"Why does it have to be Onodera? He hurt you!"

What was he talking about?

It was like the world was spinning. I lost my balance and pushed the door open. I found myself landing on the cold floor. Takano-san and Yokozawa-san were staring at me. Takano-san had his worried and concerned gaze while Yokozawa-san continued to scowl at me.

"Ritsu, are you alright? Takano-san moved in front of me. I was still shocked by this awkward situation.

"What is he doing here, Masamune?!" Yokozawa-san asked.

"Yokozawa, please leave." Takano-san said firmly.

"I understand but you better explain this to me." Yokozawa-san gave me one final scowl before retreating.

Yokozawa-san was gone, yet the tension was still in the room.

"I-I'm s-sorry… I didn't mean to hear those things…" I said as I tried to look away from him.

"You don't have to apologize." He said before helping me to stand up. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I replied.

"About what you heard… it's not really-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I think we should talk about it."

"I'm tired. I want to get some sleep." I said before leaving him. It wasn't easy not to think about all those things. I was starting to doubt myself and what we had. Takano-san was kind and he had been the best, although he wasn't perfect, I loved every single thing about him. He may not be exactly like the Saga in my memories but the feelings I had were the same.

**To be continued…**

I know that this is a major cliff hanger. I think this chapter is bittersweet! Anyways, I hope you guys would still review and like this chapter despite of the slow update.

I'm quite excited to write the next part. I'm thinking of resolving some drama issues on the next chapter and I'm also calculating how many chapters more before the story ends.

Thank you for all the support that I've been receiving. I wouldn't have the initiative to write another chapter without all those heart-warming reviews that I received. I have no plans of dropping this story, it might be placed on hiatus, or there may have slow updates, nevertheless I will still write this story until its end.

Suggestions are always welcome but flames are discouraged.

I'll be happy to read reviews!


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